Wednesday, June 28, 2006
The bell signals the end of class. Books and folders slam shut, chairs scrape the floor, feet pound.
She rises before the others. Her folder is already closed; the bag already upon her back. She strides out the classroom door, ahead of the throng.
The door to the girl’s bathroom is heavy. She pushes it open slowly, taking care not show the agitation burning in her veins. She steps into the bathroom. The grey walls sport irregular patterns of large white squares; the B.O.T’s hasty solution to hiding last terms graffiti. The row of basins beneath the stained mirror are littered with chip packets, discarded lunches and puddles of murky water. The entire bathroom smells of a foul combination of paint, shit, cigarette smoke and cleaner. She ignores the state of the empty bathroom and walks into a cubicle.
The inside walls of the tiny cubicle are a festival of penned graffiti. The sanitary bin is foully stained and nearly overflowing. The toilet itself is in dire need of cleaning; the black plastic seat is cracked and rough, and the cistern has long since lost its whiteness. Cigarette ash fills every crack and crevice.
She shuts the cubicle door firmly and slides the latch into place. Footsteps clatter into the bathroom, doors slam shut separately and the sound effects begin. She stands for a few moments, hugging her folder to her chest for comfort. Alone in the damp, dirty cubicle.
Slowly, she places the folder on the floor and unzips her bag. She digs deep inside, searching with anxious fingers. Where… where is it? Then her fingers close around the smooth plastic sheath. Calmer, she draws it from the bag, the black plastic warming in her sweating palms. She is now oblivious to her surroundings; every little bit of concentration is focused on the small black craft knife in her hand.
She presses the knob on the side and slowly slides the silver blade out of the sheath.
The bathroom is deserted once more. Students have gone to the next class. There is little time. She pushes her left sleeve up past her elbow and brings the knife to her arm. The sharp blade tears the flesh almost effortlessly. She presses harder, lengthening each slash, driving the blade in as far as she can bear. Blood rushes to the new openings, filling the gaping flesh. Streams of crimson run down her arm and drip onto the concrete floor. The bright splashes of red exclaim loudly on the grey concrete.
She takes the knife away. Slides the bloodied blade back into its sheath. The panic and fear inside her has gone, bled out of her body in crimson streams. She now feels a deep calm washing over her. Her heart has slowed to its normal rhythm, and she can breathe again.
A thick wad of toilet paper serves as a cloth. She cleans the blood away and drops the reddened tissue into the toilet bowl, where the already grey water turns pink.
She will be late for class, but it does not matter. She unlocks the cubicle, gathers her bag and folder, and strides calmly out of the bathroom. Her anxiety has gone. Her relief has been met. She can return to the world.
i cannot take credit for this,
it's too good to be unreal.
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:59 PM
(0) comments
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
pictures taken with his camera phone
laughing
happiness
faces flushed with too much to drink
naps on the couch
drunken laughter and attempts to walk straight
'good morning beautiful's
and
'i love you's
sweet and simple
what we thought could only last forever
we're drifting apart,
he says
understatement of the year
well actually,
i don't think we're drifting apart
we drifted apart ages ago
when rule-breaking wasn't his thing
when late night partying wasn't all that
when i realized it was always me wanting to meet up
and him telling me to school
when i told myself to stop
and allowed the drift
well wasn't it better?
we see each other less,
wasn't that what you wanted?
but now the problem is,
that i fell back into my old self
the needing to see you
but i'll curb that soon enough
there's only so many negative answers you can take isn't there?
you always told me that we can't compare now with last year
but we both agree last year was better
the same itty bittys we fought over
except this year,
it's different
it's different because you're changing
and i'm changing
everyone changes
and i accepted that
but you're not accepting my changes
whatever i do now,
or have done now
i would've done last time,
last year,
or before we were together
see,
that's the thing
i acknowledge that i've changed
but not in the ways you think
i smoked, cut, drank, kissed guys and girls last time
last time,
last year,
before you,
and now,
though on rarer occassions
with the exception of drinking
the only "changed" bit,
is the increase in swearing
must've happened without my knowledge
and i can't defend myself if two people have told me i swear more
benefit of the doubt,
and i'll cut down on it
if you think you don't know me
i'm starting to know myself even less
the charis i knew,
would never cut over a guy
no one owned her, she lived her own life
her life was more or less the way she wanted it
no one told her to do nothin
the world was hers to fall into
but see,
i've cut,
i've cut a couple of times over you
i still insist no one owns me but i feel like i'm cheating on you if i play truth or dare, kiss a girl and don't tell you
i can't go to a party without promising you what time i'll be home and promising not to be drunk though that doesn't really help cos you'd still worry about me
i'm not complaining about that
but see,
i've had to compromise
no clubbing without you
all that jazz
i told stacy her boyfriend was too controlling
"if you wanna go club, club. don't miss having fun cos he don't allow"
it's not that i'm not allowed
it's that
i either feel bad if you're not there
or i just end up not going cos of this that and the other
if you thought last year was wonderful,
i did too
but it's past
get over that
cos i made myself after you said now is now
i could live in The Father's Hand forever
but i didn't
we move on
and all that's left are sweet memories
there's no regret
you choose whether to leave or stay
because my decisions are usually yours
so i'll curb my need to see you
because it just happened
a couple of times
and we're already into a new term
sat on the inside,
left the outer seat free for you
but you were busy
even though i was already there
settled with my stuff
you weren't coming
that was that
don't say sorry
you've done nothing wrong
i'm starting to get used to it too you see,
looking forward to something
only to have that crushed
chill baby,
it'll be alright
i'm just fine
just peachy fine
there's no sarcasm here,
i swear
it's just
see i lived better,
i cried so much less
when i put a leash around my neck
i want that
if that's how i can stay with you and be happy
then i want that
we've drifted already
you mean you only noticed that now?
but it'll be alright
just get myself straight
and i will be alright 
hidden kisses and smiles with tears
drifting apart you say?
baby,
we've drifted
ages ago
- xoxo
charis loves you
5:55 PM
(0) comments
Monday, June 26, 2006
drop dead
i want to stop living, breathing
this is getting so fucking outta control
let me scream
where's the blade
tell me what i'm living for
you tell me,
what i'm fucking living for
there's a limit
don't cross it
the annoyance in your voice,
in your words
the degradation of my choice of fun
leave me
because it'll just be better
you know what this means
don't ask questions i don't want to answer
tell me what i'm living for
yea, pain is love
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:28 PM
(0) comments
oh the what ifs and the could've beens
the tears and the swollen eyes
tell me what i am to you
tell me what i mean
tell me what this is to you
and it's not what it seems
blank
that's what this is
that's what i am right now
it all slides off
someone make sense of the words pouring out
make sense of it all
i love you but oh
how everything just gets fucked up
but you learn to stop crying,
when daddy stops being there with his big hankerchief
and the empty bottle of pills
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:25 PM
(0) comments
one of the two days in the whole year where my shoes are white
mmmmhmmm
oh i just had to remember how clean my shoes are before it become another rotting foot cover.
haha
like the one vicky saved outta the trash
haha
SOfirst day of school was really good and really fun=D
i woke up in a pretty good mood
breakfast with baby buu, marisse, mark the fart, jerome and some other pretty cute guy with a chinese name
went to school and basically realized we'd wasted our time packing our school bags and on top of that, wasted energy and arm muscles carrying the shit load of school books because in the end, we didn't have lessons
which of course,
no one's complaining about
got high,
got pink
played truth or dare
lotsa truuuuths
and oooh baby, lotsa dares
kissykissies,
lickylickies and push ups where lips meet
i have a whole lotta videos butbutbut the format's different from phone to com
so i'll figure out a way to like,
you know,
spread the love
haha
oh yes, today was good
today was fucking good
had lunch with the little sister, buu, ann & marisse in school
had drinks which we didn't buy from school
shared mixed juice out of our "holy grail"
which was really good by the way
was actually just gonna pick up my very white,
very weird looking sculpture but in the end,
i stayed back and painted it
little sister helped as well
after that kinda headed home
i was so fucking tired
and my ringing brain was fucking killing me
slept til tampines
laadeedaa
bus-ed it home from there
went through a fuck load of shit to get mummy to let me go out again tonight
and actually,
to be honest,
i was really looking forward to tonight's thing
really looking forward to it
rushed through bathing,
got dressed up
but you know,
life fucks you up sometimes
life fucks you up bad
so what the hell
you cry a bit
but i guess all i can say is that,
even though the whole evening,
(getting yelled out by mom, going to lengths to get her consent to go out tonight)
turned out to be a huge fucking joke
(cos in the end i didn't go out)
i'm glad mummy was okay with cooking for me last minute and dinner was nice=D
schoolschoolschool
i couldn't fucking get to sleep til like 3am last night
oh gawd
ugh
i have to go to sleep early
today was a mixture of good and bads basically
mainly good
but i was in a good mood
okay whatever whatever
i have shiat to do
girl kisses and good days
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:16 PM
(0) comments
Sunday, June 25, 2006
oh my gawd
holidays are over
holidays are over
nononoooo
this is a nightmare
fuckfuckfuck
okay
i have to go to bed
to
you know
snuggle in
and shit
goodnight world
i'll see FUCKED UP in school
shit,
poly seems fun
i wanna go to a polyyyy
why can't they have through train kinda stuffs in poly
i want my september hols now
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:36 PM
(0) comments
so there's this girl i know
well okay, i don't know her all that well
she's a friend of Mr. Bunnykins
he said he loved her,
that he wanted her to wait and all that jazz
he was scared she'd fall in love with someone else
and really,
he wanted to be with her
it was just normal life that was getting to him and stressing him out
he needed time, he said
well duh,
she was crazy in love with him
then with bated breath,
there came the blow
tears and tears
and she struggled, but with her friends
she's starting to get on her feet again
then he just went out with some girl,
and realized he wasn't so in love with his new ex girlfriend anymore
if that,
after the break up wasn't enough,
he's now spreading rumours about her
rumours such as she was controlling in their relationship and she stressed him out
so i've got two words for him,
and hey,
if you're quite sure you know who this is for,
then kindly pass the message to this guy
so two words for him,
straight from the heart
fuck youa single sentance to the right couple of people and i swear,
the guy would be so dead
i'm sure there are a couple of people who would like to do something to this guy
but what the hell
gracious, and the darling that she is,
she,
this girl,
mr. bunnykins' friend,
doesn't want anything done about her ex
at least not that i know of
you know what,
i swear
fuck guys like these
damned assholes
male chauvnists
ugh
they should die
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:51 AM
(0) comments
the last fifteen people who wrote me a testimonial,
well what goes around comes around
so here
look out for your name
you know you want the fame
(EH can become poet!)
sorry, aunty character slipping out
i like hot cocoa!
Go to your page and list the last fifteen
people who have given you a testimonial. If
someone has commented twice, skip to the next
new commenter.
01. alastair
02. akira
03. clara
04. charlotte
05. eileen
06. michelle
07. bird
08. clarisse
09. richa
10. chevonne
11. timothy
12. vicky
13. yi xian
14. zhihong
15. theresa
double testimonial leavers dont count or it'll be like alastair alastair vick alastair alastair or something
haha
Have you ever kissed 11?
(timothy) hell no
What's the best memory you have of 7?:
(bird) laughing, staring people down in p5 & p6
going to 7 eleven after school
Why are you friends with 9?:
(richa) cos she's like totally weird.haha
When's the next time you're gonna see 15?:
(theresa) probably when school starts
Tell something juicy about number 2:
(akira) he's in love with me=D
nah, he's small and pierced
What do you like about 6?:
(michelle) she's my lovely, hot clubbing girlfriend
Is number 1 attractive?:
(Alastair) oh hell yea=D
i'm so attracted to him and i bet everyone else is, but they dont wanna say=D
What was your first impression of 5?:
(eileen) the fun one in class
How did you meet 14?:
(zhi hong) online
Do you think 4 could kill someone?:
(charlotte) haha. she probably already has
Is 11 your best friend?:
(timothy) i hardly know him.haha
Have you seen 15 naked?:
(theresa) nooo
Do you think 13 has a crush on you?:
(yi xian) she's straight and has a boyfriend.
Who do you spend the most time with?:
alastair, vicky
What is the last thing you did with 8?:
(clarisse) talk i guess? a couple of years back
Have you ever been to 1's house?:
(alastair) yea
Would you ever kiss 12?:
(vicky) i already have.haha
How do you know 3?:
(clara) THE FATHER'S HAND
Have you ever slept with 11?:
(timothy)i've never even met him
Do you think 10 is sexy?:
(chev) haha. oh yes
Have you ever liked 13?:
(yi xian) nope
Where is the last place you went with 5?:
(eileen) i think we went to the toilet
Are you real close to 14?:
(zhi hong) yes and no.
What kind of relationship do you have with 15?:
(theresa) we were good friends last time but havnt been that close. but i know she still loves me=D
Have you ever kissed 9?:
(richa) hell no.haha
Have you ever been to the movies with 7?:
(bird)mmmhmm. she was the first person i went for a movie with against mummy's wishes
Have you ever gotten in trouble with 10?:
(chev) haha no way
Would you ever make a move on 12?:
(vicky) like hello? she loves me more than i love her=D
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:42 AM
(0) comments
HAPPY SEVENTH MONTH ALASTAIR DARLING and after all this time, you're still the one anyway,
today was good and fun
i looked stupid during rehearsals
so fucking stupid,
especially in front of someone i just met but ah well
school oh school
i hate you
you stink
i wish i could wash you
away in the sink
ugh
monday's coming too soon, oh too soon
i feel dirrtty
i'm gonna go bathe=D
so it's seventh month hon
think we'll make it?
i do
oh yes i do
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:36 AM
(0) comments
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
so today,
in about twenty minutes i had to change character from a forty year old aunty to a 15 year old uncamera shy spaz
does anyone have any idea how bloody hard that is?
pfft
anyway,
MEANWHILE
absolutly attractive baby
haha
wheee
i cant wait for tomorrow
okay, got lotsa aunty shit to write out now and i've been sidetracking
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:35 PM
(0) comments
yesterday was good,
very fruitful i would say
mmhmmm
and today will be too(:
i do hope
i've got my cheque
woopeedoo
i'm missing someone badly
badbadbaaaadly
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:19 AM
(0) comments
Monday, June 19, 2006
happy father's day to all daddys out there
yesterday started out not to bril but ended pretty nice
just started out with as usual, being a fucking failure cos i fucked up my daddy's father's day card
so anyway,
today
i was supposed to collect my cheque today
but was late so she left
i'm going out
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:06 AM
(0) comments
Friday, June 16, 2006
it's a long winding road,
back to trust again
it's a long winding road,
but we'll make it in the endso one of alastair's friends just went through a break up
i feel bad now,
i mean i always felt she deserved way better
but then looking at her now...
or well, hearing about her now
i guess one should've been able to tell,
i mean, even though she got mad at him sometimes,
and, at least in my opinion, he was extremely unreasonable,
she still put up with him
what else could that be other than love?
c'mon i detested him, i have to admit,
and so did vick
i hate emotional blackmailers
and i feel he was emotionally abusing her
but at the end of the day,
she still loved him
and now with this
it makes you wonder sometimes
the time and effort you put into a relationship,
and when it ends
are you ready to spend days crying?
don't think about all that forever shit
don't think about all the times you
promise forever
because sometimes one thing's all it takes to destroy what you've built,
even for ten years
alastair and i promise each other forever
but as mummy points out,
nothing's confirmed til you sign on the dotted line
i'm not saying alastair and i won't last
i really want us to last
but i mean,
okay what if he, God forbid, got into a fatal car accident?
since i've promised him forever,
do i just never get married? ever?
what if i got into an accident?
what if we cheated on each other,
does the promise of forever count?
back to point,
sometimes i wonder if a lot of us are really ready for realtionships
or maybe we are,
but we're not ready for the heartache
enough said,
i don't want to sound depressive
i'm LATE
shoot
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:30 AM
(0) comments
Thursday, June 15, 2006
mummy's home
they got these lovely mints!
I LOVE
made in the states
no wonder it tastes just like the ones i had over there
it's gorgeous
i love i love
high maintenance
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:27 PM
(0) comments
1. In one sentence, explain what ended
your last relationship:
- according to him, we lost the chemistry but i say we never had it
2. What made you smile today?
- alastair(:
3. What were you doing this morning at 8a.m.?
- sleeping
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
- ooohing and aahhing over SI pictures
5. Something that happened to you in 1985?
- i was playing tea party in a huge garden way up there above this horrid hell hole.
at least i think so
6. Your prom night?
- can't wait for it
7. Last thing you said aloud?
- i love you too
8. Last thing someone else said aloud?
- little little bunny little little bunny
9. Worst thing currently on television?
- television's not on
10. What was in the mail today?
- didn't check
11. How many different beverages have
you drank today?
- mango tea (x 2)
ice lemon tea
12. What is your favorite part of the day?
- right at the end, falling asleep
13. Your current To-do list?
- finding out homework, doing homework, collecting unfinished art work,
finishing art work the list goes on
19. Last thing you bought?
- mango tea
20. Last gift you received?
- alastair bought me a pair of shades on monday,
isn't he thee sweetest?
21. Funniest thing you heard all day?
- me saying foooorrr whaaaaaat in a singaporean accent
22. Favorite mug?
- my grumpy mug
23. What color is your front door?
- brown
24. Beauty is:
- found on the inside and only then can be shown on the outside
25. Describe your keychain:
- bright pink with the words :BORN WILD
26. Where do you keep your change?
- in my wallet
27. Say something to the number 1 person in your
msg
- i love you
28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
- real rabbit fur but i've never used it
29. What was the weather like on your graduation
day?
- did i even attend my own graduation?
30. Last ice cream flavor?
- black forest
31. Last movie you saw?
- The Omen
32. Something you are excited about?
- it's something i'm excited about!
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:15 PM
(0) comments
and now, i'm just farther away indeed
guess this is what i am,
and all i'll ever be
I'm so tired of living,
Feels like the world is falling.
Looks like its raining blood.
Makes me remember,
Remember when I was happy?
Good times.
Faded around the edges,
Darkened?
Tainted?
Flower pedal dreams,
Sweet, soft, wonderful.
Nightmarish world,
Cruel, alive, sad.
Forget when you were sad?
Have you ever been sad?
Do you know what its like;
To feel the pain and torment of ones soul,
Poured out through a wrist?
Ever been depressed?
Never been happy?
Don't say you care,
If you think you know,
But haven't a clue.
If you will take the time,
To understand,
The pain,
The hopelessness,
The fear,
The loneliness,
To understand,
Me.
Then you can say,
You care.
If you say I don't,
Talk to you,
Think about a time you offered to,
Listen.
Did I fear you hearing me?
Did you really want to,
Know?
All my pain.
You say you felt it,
When I didn't talk?
When you spoke to me,
Harsh words,
Stirring me deep.
Could you shut up?
Let me breath,
Let me live,
Leave my pain alone.
Don't cause more,
You think it is fake?
Acting out?
Maybe.
But do you wake up,
With itchy wrists,
Because no one would listen?
Did you ever,
Hide your tears,
When so badly you wanted to be held,
Just so,
You could cry with out question?
Would you dream of death,
And want to stay dreaming,
Even if it scare you?
Would you read this,
And see the words,
Or just another check you have to,
Fill out
So you
Don’t
Have
To
Listen
To a dying girls thoughts.
If I screamed?
that's all i can say
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:15 PM
(0) comments
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
because it's just the easiest way to vent everything
c'mon, we do feel like this once in a while
worthlesstell me then,
how much of worth a cheap slut is.
- xoxo
charis loves you
9:58 PM
(2) comments
As I rest against this cold, hard wall
Will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war has just begun
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?
Will my weakness for an hour make me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there anyway to be made whole again?
If I'm healed,renewed, and find forgiveness find the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plan?
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:53 AM
(0) comments
off the cliff,
you're just pushing me off the fucking cliff
but i wanna be there
because
because it's the safest place in the world it started out horribly bad,
but then as michelle said,
it could be even worse, no?
it was settled,
and it was good,
it was okay
why i had to lie once more and take my sim card out of the phone is beyond me
really,
it is
i'm not one who goes around all emo and saying how screwed up my life is
but you know,
if you think your life is screwed up because you got 90% on your math test instead of 95,
try my life for a while
messed up
messed up bad
you were so close,
so bloody fucking close to having what you'd been good so long for
so bloody fucking close to having that relationship with mummy back the way it used to be.
so close to seeing mummy and alastair less awkward around each other
and then,
this
fuck this
just fuck this
and on top of everything,
you realize what a damned fucking slut everyone thinks you are
including his mom
i don't wanna talk about this
a major part is my fault, i do know
but gee,
i never thought i was a cheap fucking slut
never thought other people saw me as that
i want you back
that's all i want right now
i want you back
i want your trust,
your hugs, your kisses
you telling me it's okay
i want you back momma
i want you back
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:35 AM
(0) comments
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
what happened to this?
pictures taken with his camera phone,
late nights we all spent at this same place
getting high, getting drunk
laughing, just laughing
the laughs still echo off the walls of this now cold, empty house
i still hear them
i see us red, flushed with too much to drink
i hear our little secrets, all of them
his, mine, yours, ours
i remember tai tee
or scrabble
i remember what we don't have now
and i don't know if we ever will again
something happened along the way,
the distance between mummy and i grew
and finally, after the last time
it was slowly coming back
the old times
the planned suprises,
long talks
it was all coming back
my relationship with my mother was coming back together again
and then,
this
i want this to be a dream i can wake up from
but if i make it a dream,
then so will every other thing i've ever lived for
it would all be a dream
reality would be a dream
and i don't know if i really want that
because jemma's small hand in mine would also be a dream too
and i don't want that to happen
i know it's been a while,
strange that after everything,
all the time i've spent trying to push myself away from You
yet come closer,
i'm here
i'm here in front of You
tears in my eyes and on my knees
i need You,
i need help
i need You
i don't know who to turn to
i know my life's been a mess,
but please,
help me get through this
just help me get through this
i'm not making deals with You,
because you're not that kinda guy
but i'm telling You,
here and now
that i need You more than ever
more than i ever thought i'd admit
not because of this situation
but because of my life as well
help me through this
please,
i'm begging you
i'm not sure what i'm asking really
i want this to be okay,
to disappear even though i know it won't
but i think,
what i'm really asking Lord,
is for you to be beside me and tell me it'll be okay.
i'm sorry 
so what happened to those times?
when we just played music and danced together
when we didn't see this shit hurtling itself into our face
a whole new world, for you and me
- xoxo
charis loves you
4:20 PM
(0) comments
i had a dream last night,
i was fucking high
then there's a jiggling door in my dream and i hold my breath, my eyes open
i see the light outside switch on
the door unlocks and we lie still
she switches off the aircon and sees me in bed,
but she sees a person beside me
i want to wake up but i can't
i just fucking can't
i'm half asleep but this is real
this is so fucking real
the song's running through my head. she looks at me and goes,
"can you look me in the eye, and tell me that you're happy. are you happy now?"am i happy now?duh not.
was all that worth this?
i don't know because nothing makes sense
i don't want this to be real
i want this dream to end
i want to wake up back in front of the fireplace in UK where i was curled up on the rug
i want to run out the blue door in my bright green booties
i want to run into mummy and daddy's arms and know that they're real
that's real
not this,
no, not really.
- xoxo
charis loves you
9:45 AM
(0) comments
Sunday, June 11, 2006
so i was talking to dollie and penny,
because you know,
they're they're the only ones who stay round long enough to hear me rant nowadays
and i realized,
yea i admit
that i was being childish
i was, indeed
so here's how it goes
bad evening,
this is supposed to explain my first post.
the one with the picture of the girl smoking
anyway,
so i'm telling of the itty bittys that's pissed me off,
and being me i sidetrack to
i love you
and the next minute,
goodnight!
and the response is just a
oh, goodnight then
so i claim he's not listening
it starts off as a playful sulk,
like the playful goodnight
because well,
i'm thinking if you were listening then you'd know i wasn't done telling about my bad day
i mumble stuff but tell him it's nothing
and i end off the shit with a goodnight,
for real,
since he's gonna be going to sleep too anyway
and well,
after all the mumbling to myself and then saying it's nothing,
you know,
as usual,
or as it's recently become usual,
it's just easier not to say anything
anything at all
but then as i'm lying on the bed,
still on the phone but just falling asleep
i realize
i don't have anyone
i mean,
i have a boyfriend,
though perhaps after tonight it'd be a 'i had'
i have loads of darling friends who i can talk to
i have a best friend
but i don't have anyone i can talktalk to
i mean,
by the time i settle down to chat about this with my friends,
the situation would've been settled anyway
it's just weird
especially cos we don't keep filling each other out on our lives
so you know,
that's why it'd be weird if i suddenly called em up to complain about my bad day
so actually,
i don't have anyone
anyone at all,
besides penny and dollie that is
little stuff like bad days have long been left outta our conversations already
so that's when i cried
because i realized that while vicky probably has someone to call up(me for instance,) when she's depressed,
i don't
i can call him i guess
i guess
and we'd talk
but oh i don't know
i just wanted someone to listen,
just for you know,
like five fucking minutes
just wanted to tell someone how annoyed i was this evening about certain things
and i couldn't
so when i was asked why i was crying
i obviously don't have an answer
i'm too fucking lazy to cut myself
it stopped hurting ages ago anyway
eyed my pills when i stopped myself from getting a nice drink
but i avoided that too
you know why?
cos i'm too sick and tired
you're being very childish and oh don't it
but though it seems like i'm throwing a bitch fit over a small thing,
it's really not that small
it links all the way back up to lets see,
you not really listening, (or in my opinion, you would've known i was far from done)
which linked to how i can't talk to anyone
and how everyone's busy
well everyone's always busy so never mind that
i don't know what your problem well i'm not sure of that either,
and i don't know if it's a problem but i really don't expect you to understand.
yea,
it seems like i'm being childish
and maybe i am
or maybe it's just that we have an identity crisis,
i'm struggling to stay fifteen cos i miss being my own age and you're trying to grow up.
oh fucking hell,
just fuck this
- xoxo
charis loves you
4:30 AM
(0) comments
it started out with how a girl's self esteem can be brought down by their
significant insignificant other.
so alastair realized the truth in this and gave me a recent happening to tie in.
basically, dear readers,
i'll make a full circle and cover this, that and the other
it's a game, a computer game common among guys
so there's four of them playing and lets see,
they all know who'll win
but still they play
and mr sure-win is just getting his ego boost
and what he does is basically he plays em
he plays his friends so that he will win so that
(in my opinion) he'll make himself feel good
pathetic really
on my side,
i just feel it's pathetic, he's pathetic
so i'll let him be
but what alastair's pointing out is that
while mr sure-win is getting his ego boost,
he's putting down his supposed to be "friends" and making them feel like shit
okay girls,
we'll put aside that this is just a game
because apparently,
mr. sure-win isn't playing this like it's a game
he's playing it so he can win and make himself feel even better
okay besides starting to seethe over this annoying guy
(who really didn't seem that bad to me but ignore what might be my poor judgement)
it's been pointed out,
if he's like that for a computer games,
what's he really like in real life?
he's so bent on killkillkill in a dumbass computer game
so maybe he'll be like that if laws weren't put up against murders
so that really got me thinking,
and okay yes,
so it's a dumb computer game
does it, can it define you?
really,
i think everything does
i'll take as an example,
Aidan
i don't really know about now cos he has honestly,
changed quite a bit.
but like he was focused on squash and all out to win,
he was like that with studies.
he still studies hard, but besides the point
he was, is competitive. very, in fact
and though i don't know if he was competitive in studies i do know,
especially for his O levels,
he pushed himself very very hard and kept wanting to do better
what i'm pointing out here is that,the way he is with his game,
he is in reality
i'm looking at alastair's friend slightly differently though
i'm thinking like,
he needs his ego boost cos really,
it's what makes him tick
so you know what?
good for him
it's horrible unfortunate he has to step on his friends' toes
(one of whose tootsies belong to my darling bunnykins)
in the process of making himself feel better
he's pathetic,
and so, he uses something he's good at to make himself feel better
in the process he annoys and irritates his friends
so we come back to girls and their insignificant others
i don't personally know these girls
but i know they look good,
they're hot
and they're hard to get
so why is one of em, (the prettier of the two in my opinion)
stuck with and ugly,
horribly overprotective,
easily jealous guy
who emotionally blackmails and abuses her?
and why is the other,
who knows that she's too good for her boyfriend,
and who knows she's not in love,
still with him?
when he's ugly, geeky and wanted to bathe with her the first time she went to his place?
okay maybe i shouldn't say that but well,
she won't see this
i hope. okay, i really do hope
anyway!
back to point,
two girls, far from ugly
both confident
suddenly dating below them
like, far below them in my opinion and to result in
a plunge in their self esteem
in one case,
she doesn't feel as worth it as she used to
oh gawd honey,
we're girls that's why we're worth it.
but basically in her case,
thanks to mr ego
she feels
well,
i don't know really because i don't know her personally
so guess what,
the smallest actions,
the smallest friggin association to annoying people
can bring down your esteem
not just insignificant others but well,
friends in need of ego boosts and use you to make themselves feel good
that's really the shits
damn them ass wipes
so that's the end of my rant of the day
oh gawd!
i think sam and wen look absolutely adoooorable together!
they're super cute!
(:
goodnight!
- xoxo
charis loves you
1:10 AM
(0) comments
shut up
just fucking shut the fucking hell up
i'm screaming
but it's silent,
so so silent
the tv's on
it's loud, so loud
the echos i can hear
i want them to stop
i'm here with you
but you're there and i'm not
tell me when i stopped existing
tell me when i stopped existing
i hate you
i fucking hate you
when did i become nothing?
when did i become nothing?thursday was great
so was friday
happy 18th birthday wen(:
like he'll ever read this but well
mummy's planned suprise today
family day tomorrow
and twinnie double date on monday
i won't say i'll update you later
because i never get round to it
if you're a regular here,
you'll know
i wanna scream so that i can't hear you and you can't hear you i smell LA
learn to shut up,
that's what i'm saying
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:20 AM
(0) comments
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
[ ] You hate the world.
[x] You hate society.
[x] You think vampires are cool.
[x] You write poetry.
[x] You have black hair/dyed your hair black once.
[x] You wear/have worn black eyeliner.
[x] You write poetry that's not for school.
[ ] You are freakishly obsessed with darkness.
[ ] You think love is a waste of time.
[x] You've given up on the world.
Total => 7
[ ] You've shopped at Hot Topic.
[ ] You've spent over $100 at Hot Topic.
[ ]You wear more bracelets than a Russian...
[x]You own a dog collar, that's not for your dog
[ ] You're extremely pale.
[x] You are a member of a poetry site.
[ ] Your screen name has been an oxymoron.
[ ] you are an aethiest or agnostic
[ ] You don't believe in god.
[x] Your screen name has/had X's in it.
Total => 3
[x] You have been referred to as scary.
[ ] You have been referred to as demented.
[x] You have been referred to as weird.
[x] You have been known to hate teachers.
[x] You have been known to cause trouble.
[x] Your hair has been dyed a color that was not
natural.
[ ] You have/or had at least one photoshopped
picture on myspace.
[x] You think pictures look better in greyscale or
sepia tone.
[ ] You have been referred to as evil.
[ ] You are scared of yourself sometimes.
Total =>6
[x] Suicide has crossed your mind
[x] you have screamed before -
[x] You use big words that no one has ever heard
before on occasion.
[ ] you've seen The Exorcist.
[ ] You liked The Exorcist.
[ ] You've seen Saw.
[ ] You liked Saw.
[ ] You've done voodoo.
[ ] You hate sports.
[ ] You dress up as the most morbid thing
posssible on Halloween.
Total => 3
[x] Halloween is one of your favorite holidays.
[x] You have a strange liking for fire.
[ ] You have only a couple of actual friends.
[ ] You're not afraid of spiders.
[x] You have had a conversation about how you
want to die.
[x] You've painted your nails black
[x] One or more of your myspace pics has/had
writing on them.
[x] You have had the word "...." in your display
name.
[x] You love art.
[x] You like art with negative meanings
Total =>8
Now add up your total and multiply by two.
Repost with your score saying I am *score* % emo
54% emo!
wow,
now thaaat's different
haha
late for work and guess what i'm doing!
- xoxo
charis loves you
9:29 AM
(0) comments
oh gawwwwd
i cannooot wait to quit this job
i wanna sleep in for heaven's sake!
shitshit,
busy busy me
i have an audition at 2pm and have to be in school at 2pm as well
ugh
i wanna sleeeep
- xoxo
charis loves you
9:25 AM
(0) comments
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
BANG
BANGBANGBANG
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:43 PM
(0) comments
pictures pictures!
my self given manicure
yes i did it myself
aaall by myself
and wasn't it pretty!
now it's on my twinnie and looks just as cute
okay whatever
no one cares
fun weekend=D
i love
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:30 PM
(0) comments
Monday, June 05, 2006
i'm crabby now
i hate this damn feeling inside
the sweaty palm,
heart beating fast feeling
it's damn annoying
stiff neck
butterflies
whywhywhy?
i don't get it
okay maybe it's just because the lastlast time i ate was at like 10.15am and the next time i ate was an hour ago
but then
why still this annoying annoying feeling?
urgh
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:21 PM
(0) comments
i lubch my buu
okay
whateber whatever
today was good
slacked about at work (as usual)with nanah
quitting by friday
i really need rest
i'm lazy to blog
i'm tired
i miss alastair
but then, i'm alone
okay whatever whatever
my damn slippers broke like at the beginning of work
so i kinda had to borrow from someone
curse the owner of those awful shoes
awful awful awful pieces of crap!
ugh
i wrote a song for nanah and her broken heart
damn that fool
stupid head
guysguysguys
movie
same old same old
home, waited for 45 friggin minutes for the bus
ugh
he blew her a kiss goodbye,
then he turned around before he could see her cry boy,
what's the game you're playing now
i need an explanation
tell me
what i know you felt was real
that it wasn't my imagination
imagination
- xoxo
charis loves you
9:44 PM
(0) comments
Sunday, June 04, 2006
so sick of love songs, so sad and fucking slow like you said baby,
it's no one's fault
well it isn't
i just couldn't pick you up today
my family day had company
and i just shouldn't miss you because
i'll be missing you the rest of the week anyway
i'll leave it be,
i'll leave it be.
there's nothing i can do
there's nothing you can do
and at the end of the night,
you can't tell the difference between the sweat running down your face,
or the beer and vodka mixed with it,
or the tears.
or the tears twinnie and gerad are over right now.
been here since morning,
and we've had this loooong movie marathon
i swear
haha
and i don't think we're done yet
diddums
i miss alastair
i've missed him since forever aand i've missed him while he was away
i still miss him now
i do
gerad's playing the guitar now,
like you know, while we're all supposed to be watching tv
and i miss alastair for that
like twinnie,
i used to nag him to get off the guitar cos he was always tinkering around with it
but i miss him on the guitar now
we're never satisfied are we?
speechless, i had nothing to say
so i didn't reply.
i just didn't reply so we're starting onto week 2 of june holidays
i've got an audition this week
and oh yes,
a photoshoot next week.
so look out for me in Teenage magazine
i promise i'll be there(:
lovelove
i'm sorry baby, i'm just. really sorry said i'm so sick of love songs,
so sad and slow
so why can't i turn of the raa.
you know what charis?
stop it
just fucking stop it
it started out a bad day,
then was fun,
then turned bad
but hey you made yourself smile again didn't you?
didn't you?
and all that's left are the spent cigarettes,
that empty bottle of baileys,
the burns on my arm,
and the empty bottle of pills it's been a long day honey
i'm just.
drained
just drained
i'm sorry baby, i'm just. really sorry
- xoxo
charis loves you
7:20 PM
(0) comments
Saturday, June 03, 2006
met up with my darling twinnie yesterday after work
it's been so long
she's still pretty much the same
but i must say she's really grown up
so much more mature
we had this really looong talk about a lot of things,
mainly relationships
we still think alike
still understand each other so well
there's a reason we're twinniest twinnies(:
we went to momo,
introduced her to ranjid
dancedance daaaancedd
janice was there too and she met an old friend who sat out the dancing with her
everyone there was really young though
cos it was mainly a thing for their debate camp
so a bit of a turn off,
the again
i saw over everyone's head!
saw my juniors
puhhlease,
it is veryveryvery weird seeing your juniors at a club even IF it's non alcoholic
and it's weird seeing them see you dance
haha
was the first to pole dance with twinnie
and c'mon,
everyone loves starting the trend
met up with joey for dinner after that
he's a cute model friend also in y2y,
with twinnie and baby sister of course
went to wheelock place
home after that
chatted with twinnie til we both fell asleep
talked about what we'd always been talking about that evening
sleep
woke up missing alastair
and i'm very late for rehearsals.
i gotta shit
toodles
XOXO
- xoxo
charis loves you
3:43 PM
(0) comments
[ ] You take your shoes off before entering the
house
[ ] You eat rice often.
[x] You use chopsticks.
[x]You can speak an asian language.
[ ] Your parents want good grades from you.
[ ] Your parents insist you don't date until college.
[ ] Your parents want you to go to Berkeley or
Stanford or Harvard or some other good university
like that.
[ ] Your parents believe in Feng Shui.
[ ] You listen to those horoscopes/zodiac signs.
[ ] Your parents love to gossip with the other
parents about you.
[ ] You have relatives other than your immediate
family living with you.
[x] Most or all of your friends are asian.
[x] Your ancestors came from Asia.
[ ] You are obsessed with the computer and can't
get enough.
[ ] You know how to put a computer together.
[ ] You listen to asian music.
[ ] You can actually understand the lyrics.
[ ] You have to keep things from your parents,
even if they're not bad, because you know they'd
THINK it's bad.
[ ] Your relatives love to bring you clothes that
are bright in color with cute cartoons on them. If
you're lucky, it might even have english words on
them that don't make sense.
[ ] You love your ethnic food.
[x] You have taken/still take piano and/or violin.
[ ] Classical music is the best music ever, next to
asian music.
[ ]You are good at math [except geometry]
multiply by 4
put the subject as " I'm __% asian."
i'm 20% asian!
so knew that already
- xoxo
charis loves you
3:36 PM
(0) comments
specially for vicky(:
Seven random facts:
i don't like people looking over my shoulder at the computer screen, whether or not i'm blogging or chatting
i miss alastair very much but at the same time miss the freedom of being single
i hate TV
i can't wait to be a mother
when i was young i used to determine who i loved more out of two people by imaginig that both their lives were at stake and i could only choose to save one my final conclusion to that is that each and every time, if i was made to choose between two people i love. i'd swap my life with one of theirs
i know i'm loved(:
Seven celebrity crushes:
Jessica Alba(:
Collin Farrell
Brad Pitt
the angel from Xmen3
Alastair(that's random and he's not a celebrity)
Christina Auguilera
Stacy Orricco
Seven qualities I want in a potential boyfriend (need not apply HAHA):
cute
non-egoistical
confident but not over confident
romantic
happy
understanding
Alastair Leong Bing Liang (you just have to be him or you don't make the cut)<3
Seven things that scare me:
getting married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons
cockroaches
watching a friend die and not being able to do anything
leaving the world unkown and forgotten
torturous death
losing my 'ability' to sing and act
how much fatter i'll become after my four kids
Seven things I like/love most:
LA
spending time, cuddling up with alastair
the fact that my friends are thee bestest people in the world who don't judge and allow me to confide in them
sleeping in
falling asleep with alastair
long bus rides with alastair
walks in the park with alastair
spending time with family and friends
Seven things I plan to do before I die:
cut a couple of albums
become a known singer
act in an international film or stage production
get married and have my four beautiful perfect babies(:
Travel the world while i'm still a teenager
be completely and utterly content with life, even for a short while
move to LA
Seven random songs at the moment:
Dream a lil dream - michael buble
Quando Quando Quando - michael buble and nelly furtado
Stripped - christina auguilera
Hold us Down - christina aguilera
Is it Crazy - original, by yours truly(:
Somewhere out there - Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
Leaving on a jet plane
Seven people I want to do this (Do I really? Would they really?):
forget vicky, she's already done this
alastair
doralynn
mummy
twinnie(if she ever reads this)
Ivan
Bird
- xoxo
charis loves you
3:35 PM
(0) comments
Friday, June 02, 2006
One night these five girls were having a
sleepover when they heard
chaos at the end of her street.
they went down to find out what was happening.
they learned that a woman was
raped and the man was on the loose.
so they quickly run home
and bolt everything down.
everything settles down for a while
then they started hearing weird noises
coming from outside.
they let their minds go wild
so they got scared and hid inside a closet.
the man was really outside and
found a window that had a broken bolt.
he crept in quietly.
the girls were scared crapless.
he walked into the room
and opened the closet,
the girls screamed and ran in separate directions.
four of the girls went downstairs and
locked the cellar door,
that was right above the bathroom.
He caught the fifth girl
and took her into the bathroom,
raped her,
and skinned her alive.
her friends heard her die that night
but couldnt do anything about it.
they listened to her scratching the door to get out.
in the morning when he had fled,
the remaining went into the bathroom.
There engraved into the wall was her message:
"how could you have let me die"
they looked up to get the tears out of their eyes
and saw her flesh dangling from the knife that
skinned her.
If you dont repost this
the man will skin you alive too,
because they havent caught him yet.
And the girl will make sure you will die,
so she can pass on the tale.
Fact: A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer.
He buried her in the ground when she was still
alive.
The murderer chanted "Toma soto balca" as he
buried her.
Now that you have read the chant, you will meet
this little girl.
In the middle of the night she will be on your
ceiling.
She will suffocate you like she was suffocated.
If you send this on, she will not bother you.
Your kindness will be rewarded
repost this with the title " sleepover gone wrong..."
i have to,
i just have to tell you
how much i hate chain mails like this
and or bulletins on friendster like this
why you ask?
"oh im just scared shitless and doing what the bulletin told me to"
because it's stupid
and this shit,
is never real
it never happens
you're scaring yourself by letting it affect you
i'm just using this one chain mail entitled
"sleepover gone wrong"
as an example
by the way,
since if you're being skinned alive,
you wouldn't have time to tell mr. skinner, your rapist to
"hold up, gotta leave an evil message for the friends who let me get raped and skinned"
if you're skinned alive
you're skinned alive
end of story
it'll take pretty long to skin someone completely no?
and those other four girl,
how would they see skin dangling from the knife?
did the murderer hang the knife from the ceiling?
if so,
using what?
and was the skin a full skin with the whole shape of the girl's body intact?
well we all know the answer to that now don't we?
i don't even know why i'm analysing this.
but well,
Want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your damn chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel
safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern... I no longer
can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink
Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists
who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer drink anything out
of a can because I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
I no longer use Sarah wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no
longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with
a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even
though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to
shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob
me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support American
troops. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to
Jamaica, Uganda, Helzinki, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat pre-packaged
foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer date the opposite sex because
they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of
ice. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive
my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their
recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
(Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program. Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for
looking out for me! I will now return the favor.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm this
afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I
know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend
of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my next door
neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd husband's ex-wife's mother's beautician!!!
- xoxo
charis loves you
1:29 AM
(0) comments
People ask if I'm in love with you
Cause I'm sitting here with your picture and smilin' to myself
I'm kinda lost in my own thoughts of you
My heart speaks before my mind thinks through, and I blush as I say yes
What a feeling of vulnerability comin' over me
And I'm feeling weak and I can't speak
I can't think
Never thought I'd give in so willingly to a human being
With abilities to set me free,let me be me
Makes me wanna say
Your lips, your eyes, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it's a part of me
You please me, complete me, filling me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin' me
is that you're lovin' me for me
Unconditionally you're there for me
Undeniably you inspire me, spiritually, so sweet
This is meaningful, it's incredible, pleasurable, unforgettable
The way I feel, so sweet, makes me wanna say
Its so amazing how something so sweet has come and rearranged my life
I've been kissed by destiny, oh heaven came and saved me
An angel was placed at my feet, this isn't ordinary
He's loving me for me
Stripped of all make-up
No need for fancy clothes
No cover ups, push ups,
With him, I don't have to put on a show
He loves every freckle, every curve,
Every inch of my skin
Fullfilling me entirely
Taking all of me in
He's real
He's honest
He's loving me for me
yea, you're loving me for me
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:52 AM
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Thursday, June 01, 2006
til now it amazes me,
how time can pass so very very fast
one minute you're like this,
starting out,
carefully cutting class a little bit here and a little bit there
you can't wait for the end of your four years
and the next minute,
bam
you're fifteen and suddenly extremely aware of how the next year you'll be free of the from prison
but also extremely aware that with that comes your O levels
and what the teachers love doing is telling you how many months you have left til then
but hey,
guess what,
besides being in thee bestest class ever ever ever
i've had my buu with me since two years ago and she's still with me now(:
EH
we don't have ANNIVERSARY
we've been together for like three years already!
lets see, vicky's been my buu since
erm
january, february of 2004?
hey buu,
if we don't celebrate monthly we can AT LEAST celebrate our yearly anniversaries right?
SEE
we're looking for a sign=D
that was at Kbox
i think this is an extremely random entry
oh yes,
i started off acknowledging how fast time flies and see,
the most obvious thing is how long i've been with my buu
(even though she's never ever ever ever given me a sixth month present not to mention even a second year present.)
hmph
but anyway,
since this has already been so vickyfied
i'll do a special shoutout to her
vicky:
my dearest darlingest buu
you've been there for as long as i can remember
and thank you,
thank you for that.
i remember all the stuff we did way back then
i remember going out like every single fucking day
haha
i remember you, the smaller one,
standing up for me
even though no matter how much you stand up you'll always be smaller than me(:
i remember your first big party and our first kiss
i remember your i love yous
and i remember mine
i remember you drunk and i remember me drunk
and when i look at you now,
at myself now,
we've both grown
in more ways than one
you're taller, but you've grown stupider
(i'm kidding hon)
i love you i love you i love you buu
you'll always be my buu<3
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:20 PM
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How old do you act?
(Put an x on all the things you
can do and find out how old you act!!:)
> [x] I know how to make a pot of coffee
> [x] I can do my own laundry
> [X] I can cook for myself
> [ ] I do my chores after being told once
> [ ] I always do my homework/work
> [x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations
> [ ] I think politics are exciting
> [ ] My parents and grand-parents have better
> things to say than my peers
>
> total: 4
>
> [ ] I show up for school/work every day unless I'm
> sick
> [x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse
> [ ] I've never gotten a ticket
> [ x I watch talk shows and point out the
> incredibility of it all
> [x] I know what incredibility means without
looking it up
> [ ] I drink black coffee(love it!)
>
> total: 3
>
> [x] I know how to run the dish washer..and/or do
> the dishes
> [x] I can count in more than one language
> [x] When I say I'm going to do something, I do it.
> [ ] I mow the lawn
> [ ] I can wash my car
> [x] I can make adults laugh..without being stupid
> [ ] I remember to water my plants
> [x] I study when I have to
> [x] I pay attention at school/work
> [x] I remember to feed my pets.
> [ ] I'm generally organized
> [x] I know the meaning of capital punishment
>
> total: 8
>
> [x] I can spell experience without looking it up
> [x] I clean up my own messes
> [ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get
coffee
> [ ] I can go to the store without getting
something I don't need
> [x] I understand jokes the first time they are said
> [x]I listen to my elders
> [x] I understand the fact that the world always
> screws someone over
> [x] I can type fast, because I type every day
>
> total: 6
>
> [x] My choice in clothing is acceptable in an office
> or something like that
> [x]I can watch politics and laugh
> [ ] I have realized that the weather forecast
> changes every hour
> [x]I have realized that no one will take you
> seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and
> have a job
> [x] I can read a book and actually finish it
> [x]People have said that I act older than I am
> [x] I can be sent on an errand and not get side
> tracked
>
> total: 6
>
> Now add up how many x's you have and put "i
act ___ years old"
i'm 27=D
I SHALL GO TELL MY MOMMY
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:37 AM
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what happened to this?
peeeeektooores!(: