with |ove; me

Friday, June 16, 2006

it's a long winding road,
back to trust again
it's a long winding road,
but we'll make it in the end

so one of alastair's friends just went through a break up
i feel bad now,
i mean i always felt she deserved way better
but then looking at her now...
or well, hearing about her now

i guess one should've been able to tell,
i mean, even though she got mad at him sometimes,
and, at least in my opinion, he was extremely unreasonable,
she still put up with him
what else could that be other than love?

c'mon i detested him, i have to admit,
and so did vick
i hate emotional blackmailers
and i feel he was emotionally abusing her

but at the end of the day,
she still loved him

and now with this

it makes you wonder sometimes
the time and effort you put into a relationship,
and when it ends
are you ready to spend days crying?

don't think about all that forever shit
don't think about all the times you promise forever
because sometimes one thing's all it takes to destroy what you've built,
even for ten years

alastair and i promise each other forever
but as mummy points out,
nothing's confirmed til you sign on the dotted line
i'm not saying alastair and i won't last
i really want us to last

but i mean,
okay what if he, God forbid, got into a fatal car accident?
since i've promised him forever,
do i just never get married? ever?
what if i got into an accident?

what if we cheated on each other,
does the promise of forever count?

back to point,
sometimes i wonder if a lot of us are really ready for realtionships
or maybe we are,
but we're not ready for the heartache

enough said,
i don't want to sound depressive
i'm LATE
shoot

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:30 AM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.