Tuesday, June 28, 2005
i got off the bus at serangoon central today.
went into seven eleven just like i used to everyday two years ago.
and all of a sudden these memories start rushing back at me,
i see elizabeth messing around with those chip things that they're still selling,
i see a few of us crowding out the slurpee,
drinking and refilling before we pay .
haha
i got myself a drink,paid and walked out.
walked along that familiar route to where i used to wait for the bus,
past the newspaper stands where elizabeth would occassionally buy a magazine,
all the way past the 158 stands where elizabeth and i used to argue about whose turn it was to wait for the other's bus.
right up to where i used to wait for bus 81 .
i remember it had come to point where i was taking bus 81 so often that i forgot the route on bus 53.
miss those timesswamped with stuff from school,so wasn't looking forward to today but it wasn't that bad in the end .
a heck load of crap to hand up.
was in the physics lab today when vicky started saying something about a big bug around our area,
yelping, i got off my chair .
screamed when i saw that thing fly under vicky's legs,
and you wouldn't believe it,
we saw a whole nest there .
it was bloody effing disgusting.
revaulting .
don't want to think about it anymore .
- xoxo
charis loves you
5:00 PM
(0) comments
Friday, June 24, 2005
i had fun on wednesday=]
it wasn't brilliant but it was fun .
how can someone just suddenly stop loving another?
someone you're such good friends with that even now,
after all that's happened you still go to if and when you need help,
if you need a listening ear.
you cannot deny that at one point you two loved each other so very much .
so much that you agreed to spend the rest of your lives together.
you vowed that no matter what, ain't nothin gonna come between you two,
you're gonna spend forever together.
so how can all those promises,
all that love, just disappear?
honestly,
i don't think it did,because a love that much,that strong couldn't have simply disappeared.
i think that you two did,still do and always will love each other .
if the other should die,i know you'd cry til there ain't nothin left of you.
and i think,
wait,
i know,
that if that other woman weren't around, if you weren't married,
you two would still hit it off .
dammit,
if you decided to,even if you've wandered off in different directions for the past ten years,
you two could still walk back .
or from the point you're at now,
start walking towards each other.
it's possible, don't you see?
you don't think it is because you mentally decided you didn't love this woman anymore,is that right?
but how?
why?
you think my feelings are one-sided .
they're not,really .
you think i'm too young to understand,
but i aint the same eight year old who had to push you away from the front door when you wanted to force your way back in.
you think i've been brainwashed or that i don't have the full story,
i don't have the full story but i get the gist of it.
there wasn't just some other woman,
there were three.
either ways,
you decided to leave,
and you did .
fuck divorce. to hell with itso much more i have to say but i'm stopping here .
can't wait for tonight=]
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:30 AM
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Monday, June 20, 2005
went for a haircut today,
it's different now=]
can't wait for wednesday
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:54 PM
(0) comments
Sunday, June 19, 2005
happy father's day to all daddy's out there .
those who didn screw around and leave the family for another that is.
i've been missing my father,
i called him today to wish him a happy father's day.
i ended up in tears though
and it was terribly hard to stop.
he said he hadn't called because he was angry with me when i referred to his new wife as
"your wife"
the last time i texted him.
ohh that,
and also that he wanted what he called "initiative"
so what about my little sister?
why'd she have to suffer cos of me?
i asked why he didnt call her if he was angry with me.
i mean,
it's my fault innit?
why does it have to be taken out on janice too?
she doesn't know shit,
and she still fucking defends my father left right and centre
so why?
and today,
i finally have to admit.
that my father must have loved us at some point in time,
but now
c'mon .
my own daddy don't fucking love me enough to call
so he comes up with stupid candy ass excuses and blames me.
his bloody car mantainance costs more than his two daughters.
my children sure as hell aint gonna get no daddy like that .
- xoxo
charis loves you
9:30 PM
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Sunday, June 12, 2005
i'm quite sure i had a post a few days ago except it's
just
gone.
pfft .
or maybe i'm just not sure of what i have and have not done.
tsk
back to school tomorrow,
no,not my school .
but a school .
lovely holiday innit?
i will have to collect my whole stack of books from vicky's place before school starts,
there's homework i don't know about mann
i've got so much to blog about but i don't really know how to put it into words.
maybe another time when im not so tired .
haha
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:17 PM
(0) comments
Thursday, June 09, 2005
1. SCHOOLS YOU ATTENDED? -
>> island play house,Bethesda pasir ris
plmgs(primary), plmgs(secondary)
2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR
CELLPHONE?
>> an empty road
3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST
NIGHT? -
>> i could've done with a lot more .
4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT
THIS
MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP?
>> i don't care about brunch,i want to sleep
5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT
YOUR
BEDSIDE? -
>> tissue for crying, peppermint crystals:)
6. EVER TRIED TO SKIP MEAL? -
>> duurh .who hasn't?
7. GRILLED OR FRIED?
>> grilled
8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE TO
OTHERS?
>> the fact that i rock .haha .
my friends would know what makes me unique, no?
9. ARE YOU AFRAID OF
THE DARK?
>>no .
10. FAVOURITE HANGOUT -
>>my room, bugis street, the park .
11.THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE
WITHOUT? -
>>things aren't people right?
so
love?
12. FIRST THING YOU WILL
BUY IF GIVEN 1 THOUSAND DOLLARS?
>> a new phone i suppose?
or the first plane ticket out of singapore if i had enough to take who i want with me .
a thousand dollars is really not enough .
13. FAVORITE SONG WHEN YOU'RE
SLEEPY?
>>Once upon a december
non-techno version of We're in Heaven
14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? -
>> anything with more than four legs
15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? -
>>giver,i'd say but i do take:)
16.WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? -
>> tua neh buu .thanks vick .gee .
17. MOST
RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU
WATCHED? -
>>Monster-in-law
18. INVISIBLE FOR A DAY?
>> i'd do stuff i can't do now that i'm seen .
19. STUCK ON A DESERT
ISLAND & COULD HAVE ONLY ONE
KIND
OF FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR
LIFE,
WHAT WOULD IT BE? -
>> water, definitely
20. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL? -
>>i dont like tv and don't watch it that much .
21. IF YOU'LL DIE TOMORROW,
WHAT WILL YOU DO? -
>> i'll tell the ones i love how much i love them and forgive those i havn't forgiven .
i'd go see this really really special someone and kiss him goodbye .
ooooh,and i'd tidy up my room and fly to LA so i'd die there:)
22. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A
FIRE? -
>>wallet and my favouritest soft toy:)
23. YOUR EYE COLOR? -
>>medium brown
24. WHAT ARE THE THINGS
YOU ALWAYS BRING? -
>>cell phone,cash,nets card and lip gloss
25. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN
YOU WERE A KID?
>> a vet:)
26. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN
THE
CLOCK TURNS 7 AM? -
>>catch fifteen minutes of sleep in the classroom before assembly
27. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET? -
>>blue:)with cats on it .
im changing it later though
28. WHO U WANT TO MEET? -
>> Jesus .quick:)
29. HOW'S LIFE? -
>> tiring .and im missing someone like crazy so it aint thaat nice
but it's fun:)singing audition tomorrow and drama at acsi .haha
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:57 PM
(0) comments
o1. Name ;
Charis Vera Ng Mei Yi
o2. Age ;
14 yrs.
o3. Your family calls you ;
jie
o4. Your friends call you ;
charis
o5. Favorite no. is ;
16,71
o6. Are you more of a pessimist or optimist ;
Optimist.
o7. The person you love most ;
mummy?baby sister!
if it doesn include family i shan't say
o8. Are you in a relationship ;
Nah
o9. What time is it ;
10.42pm
im quite sure by the time i post this it would be this time.haha
1o. What are you doing right now ;
missing someone .
answering dumb questions,talking to alastair online
11. Last thing you did before you used the PC ;
practiced a song
12. Last thing that made you cry ;
knowing i couldn't see the someone who means so much to me for like,
the whole holiday .don't ask .
13. Last person who made you smile ;
alastair:)
14. The person(s) you trust ;
God
mummy
alastair
elizabeth;bestie
vickaye;buuu
veektor=]
15. The person(s) who give/s some advice ;
ditto
16. Last book you read ;
crooked .im getting started on the sequel which isn't half as interesting
17. What is ur fav color?
red,mud green,black and white.GREY
18. Favorite places ;
room .
the park .
quiet places .
this particular place i've never been to,by this huge waterfall .
19. spiderman or batman ;
batman .only because George Clooney is ever so handsome .
2o. Does someone bother you ;
tell me about it.
21. You prefer to have a long or short hair ;
either like,medium long like now:)
or short short
22. Last person you texted ;
zhihong
23. Linkin Park or Slapshock ;
Linkin Park.
24. Describe what you're feeling ;
tired.
25. Something you can't afford to lose ;
friends?wait,they're not things .
my wallet i suppose?
26. Last person who wrote a testimonial for you ;
alastair
27. What time did you go to bed last night ;
3am
28. Weirdest person you know ;
i know lots of weird people .
haha .
shan't say cos everyone's weird in the weirdest way
29. Choose Angel or Baby ;
BABY
3o. Last person who call you ;
francesco
31. Black, Blue or White ;
white
32.What turns you off from the opposite sex ;
Bad BO, horrid smarmy smile,
fakeness, egoistical-ness(not the put on types)
33. What turns you on ;
eyes,arms,hands, the fact that he can sing:)
bril character .
34. computer or mobile ;
definitely my cell
35. Last person who crossed your mind ;
alastair
36. Mango or Pear ;
the brand?mango
the fruit?mango too:)
37. Are you a smoker ;
nuh uh .
promises38. One big regret in life ;
we all have regrets mann .
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:57 PM
(0) comments
i never seem to have had a day to myself in ages.
haha .
the song i'm supposed to sing for tommorrow's audition i totally dont know so i had to practice like crap and memorise everything .
gee .
i swear i dont put in this much effort into schoolwork.
pfft .
OHH .
ivan's my twinniest twinnie twin:]
im older than him .
haha .
i slept bits of my day away,
hoping i'd wake up and everything would be different .
no,
not different different .
just different =]
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:20 PM
(0) comments
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
it's been fun,acting at acsi.
don't know all that many people but still.
haha .
ivan's nice .
he's got an awesome awesome voice .
like .
wow.
-stares in awe .
he's pretty cute,
very nice.
oooh,and i was asked to audition for some rock concert thing they're having in august .
hope i'll be good enough .
wait,i just hope i won't bloody embarrass myself fullstop.
rehearsals were real fun today,and yesterday.
went to Holland V for lunch with chrissybell and ivan.
thanks for ice-cream ivan:]
went to plaza after that,
saw cephas .
didn't think
you'd be there,
how'd i have given anything to see you,even if only for a few minutes.
pretty much it for the day i guess.
i wanna go sleep sooon=]
- xoxo
charis loves you
10:29 PM
(0) comments
Monday, June 06, 2005
christabel and i were asked to go to acsi to participate in their drama night.
im gonna come in on rollar blades:]
wheee .
and im a flamingo
i couldn't sleep all night,only got about two and a half hours sleep .
don't ask why .
there was a guy called alastair there .
and a cute guy who chris was checking out .tsk
sometimes you know that you're doing something for a reason.or you do it with good intentions.
whatever it is, you know it's for your own good .
but sometimes it seems so painful,
and ever so hard .
you probably won't get what im saying but nevermind,
i love this particular song which came from my favourite cartoon
Swan Princess.
it's gorgeous .
Far Longer Than Forever
Odette: If I could break this spell
I'd run to him today
And somehow I know he's on his way to me
Derek, you and I were meant to be
Far longer than forever
I'll hold you in my heart
It's almost like you're here with me
Although we're far apart
Derek: Far longer than forever
As constant as a star
I close my eyes and I am where you are
Odette: Sure as the dawn brings the sunrise
We've an unshakable bond
Derek: Destined to last for a lifetime and beyond
Far longer than forever
Odette: Far longer than forever
Derek: I swear that I'll be true
Odette: I swear that I'll be true
Derek: I've made an
Derek and Odette: Everlasting vow
To find a way to you
Far longer than forever
Like no love ever known
Odette: And with your love
Derek and Odette: I'll never be alone
Odette: Far longer than forever
Derek: Much stronger than forever
Odette: And with your love I'll never be alone
- xoxo
charis loves you
3:41 PM
(0) comments
Sunday, June 05, 2005
>Top 5 favourite websites.
>1.withlove-me.blogspot.com
>2.onlyyalmost.blogspot.com
>3. storms-of-life.blogspot.com
>4. hotmail.com
>5. flowgo.com(I like goldminer)
they’re in no particular order .promise:]
>TOP 5 Favourite songs on playlist
>1. DJ Sammy –Heaven,9-11
>2. Leann Rimes- I need you
>3. Mariah Carey- All I want for Christmas is you
>4. Jesse McCartney –Beautiful soul
>5. Darius – Live Twice
>
>TOP 5 Favourite bands
>1. my band:]yes im bias
>2.abba
>3. carpenters
>4. sclub7
>5. Budak Pantai .is that correct?i only know them as Rockapella
>
>TOP 5 Favourite singers
>1. Whitney Housten
>2. Michael Buble
>3. christina auguilera
>4. Kelly Clarkson
>5. Celine Dion
>TOP 5 Food
>1. prawns
>2. sushi
>3. curry chicken
>4. sushi
>5. sushi
>
>TOP 5 Drink
>1. Bailey's Irish Cream
>2. Stella Artois
>3. Wolfiener
>4. Erdinger
>5. Yellow-tail Shiraz
>
>
>TOP 5 Snack
>1. Sushi
>2. Lays
>3. Taiwanese Sausage
>4. Goreng Pisang
>5. sushi=)
>
>TOP 5 Indoor activities
>1. sleeping
>2. talking on the phone//selective people by the way
>3. texting
>4. listening to music and many times screeching along and cracking glass:]
>5.does dancing at parties count?i mean,if the party is held indoors that is.
>
>TOP 5 Outdoor activities
>1. going out for coffee or tea with friends and chatting:]
>2. Shopping
>3. Squash
>4. Netball
>5. Pubbing:]
>TOP 5 Accessories (that you own)
>1. this sweet bracelet which was given to me
>2. Cell phone
>3. Father's Hand: cactus ring
>4. mood ring with mom luvs u engraved on it:)
>5. frenship band dat both eli n i haf around mah left ankle
>
>TOP 5 Major expenses
>1. Phone Bill
>2. clothes:)
>3. Make up/nail polish. heh,but my momma alwaes pays being the darling that she is
>4. phone bill
>5. Clothes.who's down for major shopping? Clara darlin? -evil grin-
>
>TOP 5 Bad personalities of your own
>1. Lazy.
>2. fatt.is dat a badd habit?-shruggs-
>4. eating too much...sighh
>5. texting too much
>
>TOP 5 Good personalities of your own
>1. sensitive:)
>2. i'm a sweeeeetie:)
>3. generous.
>4. reasonably reasonable
>5. sociable
>
>Top 5 most important people
>God ain’t a person right? but God's number 1=)
>
>1.mommie
>2.my baby sister, janice
>3.a certain special someone
>4.elizabeth, darling bestie
>5.my buu vicky
>Top 5 favourite hangout places
>1. Derek’s, some nice nice pub:)
>2. my room
>3. bugis street
>4. wisma:] don’t ask me why though
>5. AIRPORT
>
>Top 5 brands that i like
im not really a brand-conscious kind of person you know?
>1. Bloom
>2.Levis’
>3. addidas
>4. Forever 21
>5. Charles n Keith
>
>Top 5 favourite Movies
>1. Sweet November
>2. Swan Princess
>3. SWAT
>4. Chicago
>5. Secret Window
>
>Top 5 favourite people to chat online with
>
>1.alastair
>2.elizabeth
>3.veeektor!
>4.aidan
>5. miles, when I talked to him more often than now. haha
>
>Top 5 favourite colours
>1. army green
>2. red
>3. grey
>4. black
>5. white
- xoxo
charis loves you
2:51 PM
(0) comments
If I Never Knew You
Artist : Shanice & Jon Secada
OST : Pocahontas
Smith :
If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be
And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me
In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes
And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you
Pocahontas :
If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true
I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you
Smith :
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Pocahontas :
Somehow we made the whole world bright
Both :
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us where these whispers in the night
But still my heart is singing
We were right
Pocahontas :
If I never knew you
If I never knew this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be
Smith :
There's no moment I regret
Since the moment that we met
If our time has gone too fast
I've lived at last...
Both :
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
Pocahontas :
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
Both :
And still my heart is singing
We were right
Smith :
We were right
And If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Pocahontas :
Empty as the sky
Both :
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you
if i never knew you .
im glad i did .
- xoxo
charis loves you
1:40 AM
(0) comments
Saturday, June 04, 2005
LAYER ONE: What is your..?
-- Name: charis vera ng mei yi
-- Birth date: march 17th 1991
-- Birthplace: UK, Farnbrough, Kent
-- Current Location: my living room
-- Eye Color: brown
-- Hair Color: dark brown
-- Height: too short for my liking
-- Right handed or Left handed: right
LAYER TWO:
-- Heritage: Chinese
-- Weakness: for guys? their eyes and hands
-- Biggest fears: things with more than six legs
-- Your perfect pizza: Hawaiian and spicy chicken
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: at this point in time? Finish this stupid thing .
LAYER THREE: Your…?
-- Most overused phrase(s): that's so funny i forgot to laugh
-- Thoughts first waking up: is Singapore the only country who gets kids to go to school at unearthly hours?
-- Best physical feature: my eyes i guess:]
-- Usual bedtime: varies from 11pm-3am
-- Most missed memory: those back in LA, with my family...
LAYER FOUR: Preferences..?
-- Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger king
-- Single or group dates: preferably single
-- Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea: lipton
-- Cappuccino or Latte: latte
LAYER FIVE: Do you…?
-- Smoke: I used to, but I kinda made a promise .
-- Sing: mmmmhmmm .it’s good for your throat muscles =]
-- Take a shower every day: yea
-- Do you think you've been in love: mmmhmmmm .and i think I still am .
-- Want to get married: you can say that, i’ve already planned out my wedding
-- Believe in yourself: i guess, in some ways
-- Get motion sickness: if you’re a horrible driver, yes .
-- Think you're a health freak: definitely not.
-- Get along with your parents: i'm real close to my mom
-- Like thunderstorms: I love them .
-- Play an instrument: I can’t play anything to save my life .i like the piano
LAYER SIX: In the past month, you’ve…?
-- Drank alcohol: yeaa, just last night
-- Gone on a date: mmmmhmmm
-- Gone to the mall: not in the last 24 hours,my my
-- Eaten sushi: not in the past month .
-- Been on stage: definitely
-- Been dumped: I don’t think so?
-- Gone skating: nope .aww man, I really want to.
-- Shoplifted: nope
-- Changed who you were to fit in: nope.
LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: 24-24? haha
-- Numbers and Names of Children: about 5-7 children .
Zachary Adam
Jemimah Elizabeth
Xander Basil
Beth
Describe your Dream Wedding:
it doesn’t take place in a church,
starts at about 3 in the afternoon, the flowergirls hold candles instead of flowers and so do the bridesmaids. The wedding march is the first two bars from the overture of Phantom of the Opera followed by the intro to Vanessa Carlton’s Thousand Miles.
Mummy and I come in on horseback, she gives me away .
The reception is basically the wedding dinner which ends at about 10pm,
Then there’s the after-party where everyone goes back drunk .whee
-- How do you want to die: at home,of old age .
LAYER NINE:
-- In a girl/boy, you would want: to find happiness and friendship,first and foremost
-- Best eye color: light brown
-- Best hair color: dark brown...
-- Hair: spiked?
-- Height: taller than hopefully. It aint that hard to be taller than me.
-- Weight: doesn’t really matter
-- First date location: the beach sounds nice
LAYER TEN: List the number of:
-- Drugs taken illegally: 0
-- People I trust with my life: 4 .God, mummy, Elizabeth and the last person who means so so much to me
-- CDs that I own: never enough .
-- Piercings: two on my left,five on my right and a belly button one .
that’s only 8 right?
-- Tattoos: none. At least not yet.
-- Times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: don’t think it ever has.
-- Scars on my body: too many to count .i shall get em lasered off:]
-- Things in my past that I regret: don’t we all have regrets?
Redundant question .
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:59 AM
(0) comments
eff you depression .
keep away .
don't try to ruin my life,
i aint gonna let you stay.
quit startin these tears .
don't rake up the past .
get the eff away from me
it aint that hard a task .ever felt alone?
i have .
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:52 AM
(0) comments
Friday, June 03, 2005
"Have You Ever?"
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do anything to look into your eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care
What do I gotta go to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta do to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Coz baby I can't sleep
//____
it's something you'd never think would happen to you,
and when it does,
you just sit around crying,
not really knowing what to do .
i loved the cocktail party on tuesday .
it was amazing .
all the dancing .
all the drinking .
and for that night,
everything just disappears and it's pure bliss to be rid of what been keeping your mind occupied for like,ever .
of course,
after the dancing,
after the drinking,you kind of fall back down to earth,
to the real world you're in with a huuge crash .
that night i came back,
as i was heading upstairs,
this guy came up to me and said he saw me getting out of the cab and stuff,
said i was really pretty,told me he lived on the 12th floor and asked for my number .
haha .
didnt give it to him of course .
so here i am.
it's hard to stop crying when,screw it,
you feel..
not empty, but just like a part of you is gone .
my bed beckons .
i need to study .
i shall dream about it in my sleep .
haha .
don't leave now,not yet .
not ever .
- xoxo
charis loves you
12:15 PM
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peeeeektooores!(: