with |ove; me

Friday, June 24, 2005

i had fun on wednesday=]
it wasn't brilliant but it was fun .

how can someone just suddenly stop loving another?
someone you're such good friends with that even now,
after all that's happened you still go to if and when you need help,
if you need a listening ear.
you cannot deny that at one point you two loved each other so very much .
so much that you agreed to spend the rest of your lives together.
you vowed that no matter what, ain't nothin gonna come between you two,
you're gonna spend forever together.
so how can all those promises,
all that love, just disappear?

honestly,
i don't think it did,because a love that much,that strong couldn't have simply disappeared.
i think that you two did,still do and always will love each other .
if the other should die,i know you'd cry til there ain't nothin left of you.
and i think,
wait,
i know,
that if that other woman weren't around, if you weren't married,
you two would still hit it off .

dammit,
if you decided to,even if you've wandered off in different directions for the past ten years,
you two could still walk back .
or from the point you're at now,
start walking towards each other.
it's possible, don't you see?

you don't think it is because you mentally decided you didn't love this woman anymore,is that right?
but how?
why?
you think my feelings are one-sided .
they're not,really .
you think i'm too young to understand,
but i aint the same eight year old who had to push you away from the front door when you wanted to force your way back in.
you think i've been brainwashed or that i don't have the full story,
i don't have the full story but i get the gist of it.
there wasn't just some other woman,
there were three.
either ways,
you decided to leave,
and you did .

fuck divorce. to hell with it

so much more i have to say but i'm stopping here .
can't wait for tonight=]

- xoxo
charis loves you
12:30 AM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.