alone i was
before your love
when i saw you
i knew my life was touched

i saw your smile
and then i knew
that everything i felt
inside was true

i saw your smile
and then i knew
that i was gonna spend
my life with you


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Thursday, December 29, 2005

i'm waiting for my school books to be delivered(:

dumdeedum

holidays are flying by too fast for me,
for once,
and i do honestly mean for once,
for the first time,
i didn't spend most of my holidays slacking around doing nothing at home(:
i was out a lot,
and i was happy
that's all that matters(:

well anyway,
strange as it might sound coming from charis vera ng,
i'm kinda excited to go back to school.
i'm dreading the end of holidays,
but i'm pretty excited to go back to school(:
reallyreally.

somehow,
the thought,
the feeling of starting fresh,
of being in a class of my own choice,
of doing something that i'm gonna love doing is absolutely,
thrillingly,
exciting(:

i know i won't be saying that when school starts but ah,
what the hell.

i got my uniform altered,
so i was actually planning on wearing it,
the one with the belt.
EXCEPT,
i tried it on yesterday and it's too short.
i mean,
way too short.

yesyes,
i know i hate rules and the shorter the skirt the better no?
but actually,
it's a bit too short for my liking.
it looks like some kinky schoolgirl on halloween outfit.

it's like,
kinky cute,
cute kinky.
whatever.
it's just a bit too short.
which really,
honestly,
sucks.

pffft.
so i was thinking maybe i'll just wear it for cca or something or when school isn't important.
but that doesn't sound all that great.
i'll probably attach extra cloth to it or something.
haha.

speaking of school,
i'm pretty psyched to be in the same class as my best friend and other people i'm pretty close to.
but as vicky says,
it's not that good to be in the same class as your close friends,
due to personality clash and ecetra ecetra.
but i realied something else worse than that.

victor once said,
familiarity breeds contempt.

i think that's what i'm most afraid of,
that because we're all cooped up in the same class and all that jazz,
we're gonna be so so tired of each other that we absolutely cannont stand hanging out and going out as friends anymore.
i honestly hope that doesn't happen.
i couldn't bear for that.

so anyway,
second last year in secondary school(:
two more years charis,
just two more years.

yeaa,
i'll miss it and all.
but i can't wait to be outta secondary school.
maybe by then i'll be heading off to the states or something.
i'd like to stay for my O's really,
doesn't make much difference but it's something to fall back on.
plus,
i'd love to study in the new school,
the about to be built school(:

everyone's said my batch is thee luckiest,
most fortunate batch.
and you know what?
i totally and utterly agree.

for one,
mine was the first batch which could choose secondary schools AFTER finding out your PSLE results

number 2:
my batch got to stay and study in the old school, the temporary school and we're gonna get to stay and study in the new school for a year and take our O's there. whereas the girls a year above us will probably only take their O's in the new school,
if even that.

number 3:
Mrs Lee says once in a pl-lites four years,they should be able to participate in the school Musical of which we are all so proud of.
but like last years sec4s were encouraged not to due to O levels and everything.
well i don't know if they were discouraged from it, i just know that there was only one sec4 in our midst cos she was one who was okay with coping with the musical as well as her O's.
well anyway, my batch got a chance to participate in The Father's Hand last year and if we get stayed back a year, we might get a chance to participate again.
haha.

i think there's a bit more.
the only thing i don't like about my batch as well as the batch above us is that starting from the year above us,
all belts are sewn on.
and that sucks period.

okay,
enough about school(:
stupid books still havn't arrived yet.
pffft.

can't wait for tonight(:
yayness

with the coming of a new year

ohohoh.
i dreamt about vicky, bella and justin last night.
weird eh?
and and,
what else did i dream about?
i don't know,
i just know it was messed up and weird.
haha.

i love the new song(:

- xoxo
charis loves you
1:45 PM

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Sunday, December 25, 2005

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS

the party was pretty okay(:

opened my christmas pressies on christmas eve.
somehow i knew this christmas was gonna be different.
both good and bad.
so it was different,
way different.

we ate pizza and slacked the first half of the year before heading over to alastair's for Christmas.
it was nice,
i loved it(:

it reminded me of a warm loving,laughing family.
shit i sound like Dara from Clay Marble.
it's so very cliche,
but i loved the warmth, the love, and the laughter

daddy's in Malaysia,
i miss him.

oh,
and just as i somehow felt at the beginning of the year,
it didn't rain this christmas for the first time in four years

how beautiful is that?
haha
but it's the one year we didn't head to church on christmas day.
haha.

christmas with you

lalalala


christmas love,
christmas love
christmas love
someone to have and to hold.
christmas love,
christmas love
someone i can call my own(:

- xoxo
charis loves you
11:16 PM

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

3 hrs 9mins!
3hrs 9 mins!

his flight's coming in a whole half hour early(:
yay!

i can't wait

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:09 AM

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just had my hair cut today(:
me liike.

it's short now,
havn't had short hair in a long long time.
haha
oh wells.
i like(:

all ready for the new year!

12hrs 20 mins.
hurry back baby boy!

- xoxo
charis loves you
12:20 AM

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

20hrs(:

my phone's down,
so i hope no one's been trying to contact me.

dinner with daddy and auntie chinh last night was pretty okay.
i suppose i gotta get used to quite a few things(:

flip the lifestyle

yayers(:

went to ps today,
by myself suprisingly.
ah the inconvenience of an absolutely redundant phone.
wasn't that bad,
the lone shopping i mean,
not the redundant phone.

i've finished getting mummy's present,
alastair's presents and daddy.
laadeedaa.

miss you baby,come back soon will you?

- xoxo
charis loves you
5:40 PM

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Monday, December 19, 2005

48 hours!
(:

i can't wait i can't wait.

dinner with daddy tonight,
christmas allowance(:

hurr.

- xoxo
charis loves you
12:00 PM

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Sunday, December 18, 2005

back from a day out,
family piercing day(:

mummy and janice got ear piercings and yeaa well.
i skipped the ear.
so keep guessing(:

went to cmc today.
wasn't all that bad(:

dinner with auntie alex.
pretty okay i guess.

i miss alastooooore:(

pfft.

62hrs 13mins til i see you again(:

hurry back silly baby. i miss you like crazy

- xoxo
charis loves you
9:47 PM

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shit.
i miss you like crazy darling.
hurry back sooon.
soonsoonsooon.

81hrs 30mins left

til i see you again baby

- xoxo
charis loves you
2:30 AM

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

how cold,
how hurtful.
how i could hate him so much.

for what he did to my family,
and for what he's to us,
to me even,
now.

are all guys like that?

- xoxo
charis loves you
1:59 PM

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i'm meeeething thomeone:(

94hrs 10mins
5650 mins
339000 secs
til i see him again.

hurry back soon darling

- xoxo
charis loves you
1:50 PM

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Friday, December 16, 2005

i miss you i miss you i miss you

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:07 PM

(0) comments

just got back from an
amazing hour and a half facial(:

lalalaaa.

i think mummy's getting tired of me whining about missing alastair
haha

110 hours and 10 mins til i'll see him again.

after which,
i won't see him again til the next day because he'll be going out with his friends and i've got something on in the evening.

pffffft.

- xoxo
charis loves you
9:50 PM

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he's headed for the chocolate factory this morning,
after which there'll be a farm stay.

pfft.
why the hell am i writing this down?
i miss him:(
bawled my eyes out last night after a stella artois:)
mummy's understanding.
haha.

i shall attempt to complete my christmas shopping today.
i think i've got like three,
one of which is mummy's so i honestly can't get it for her in front of her.
haha.

tsktsk.
OH.
i need to go for a facial.

dearie me.
so much to do and so little time.
it's such hard work being a girl.

toodles.
hughug kisskiss

- xoxo
charis loves you
1:31 PM

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

Christmas mood's getting to me(:

Santa Baby

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby, a 54 convertible too, light blue
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you'd check off my Christmas list
Boo doo bee doo
Santa baby, I wanna yacht and really that's
Not a lot
I've been an angel all year
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa honey, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie, fill my stocking with a duplex, and checks
Sign your 'X' on the line
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me
Boo doo bee doo
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
I don't mean a phone
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight

- xoxo
charis loves you
12:59 PM

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i'll always remember the last hug he gave me,
the last time i buried myself in his t-shirt,
wanting to memorize his smell.
i'll remember the last kiss he gave me,
and how i ran my fingers over his lips.
i'll remember the last cuddle we had,
cuddling as much as we could cos somehow we both knew we wouldn't be able to cuddle for a while.
i'll remember the last time he made me smile,
and the last time i made him smile:)

i'll remember the last time he asked me what's wrong,
the last time he told me never to leave,
and the last time he told me he loved me.

i'll remember the last time i went out with him alone,
i'll remember the movie,
i'll remember how he made me promise not to snap my gum in the train.
i'll remember how we held hands and how he'd walk with his arm around my shoulder so i knew he was always there,
right beside me.

i'll remember the last time i left the country,
i'll remember how much i missed him and how i cried myself to sleep.

i'll remember the last time he stayed over,
how we'd both go down to get his silly kaya bread,
how we bought chocolate milk,
and how we played tai tee during breakfast.

i'll remember the last time he left little notes all over my room for me to find,
and i'll remember the last letter i gave him.

i'll remember the last time he reached for the tissue box cos he had a runny nose,
and i'll remember the last time i squished his face and made him say fish.
i'll remember the way i kept making him repeat HONNEH BUNNEH.

i'll remember the last time we sang our song together,
the last time we played pepsi-cola.
i'll remember the last time he hugged me from behind and kissed my head.

i'll remember the last time i fell asleep in his arms,
and the last time he sang me to sleep.
i'll remember the last time he ran his finger down my nose.
i'll remember the last time i traced his eyes,his nose, his mouth with my fingers.
i'll remember the last time his cheek rested against my palm.
i'll remember the last time we took neoprints,
and i'll remember the last time we took pictures with his phone.

i'll remember how much i loved him then
and how much i still do love him.

i'll remember him the way he was the last time we met(:

and when he comes back,
i'll hug him tight,
i won't want to ever let go.
i'll kiss him like i needed air,
i'll bury myself in his clothes and lose myself in his familiar smell.
i'll curl up on the sofa with him again,
i'll snap my gum in the train just to irritate him
i'll make him say honneh bunneh over and over again,
i'll run my fingers through his hair,
i'll cuddle him again and again,
i'll watch him fall asleep and hear his cute little snores,
i'll hear him sleep talk again
and laugh at him and with him(:

and i'll love like there's no tomorrow

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:20 AM

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Monday, December 12, 2005

i'm lazee to blog

it's all in my head
i don't wanna type it out
i've got stuff to do.
i'll update soon

- xoxo
charis loves you
9:59 PM

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

i havn't blogged for a longlong time.

we're into december now,
hols will end so very very soon.

did christmas shopping today.
amazingly fun(:

lets do that again

i have to start work.

pfft

so anyway,
i came home tonight,
past 9pm.
it was dark and the doors were still locked.
no one was home yet.
i unlocked the gate and the door
heard something move inside.
i felt so uneasy,
so
so..
was it weird?
i sensed something amiss
something so very very wrong.

i pushed the door wide open,
and i saw my cat on the floor,
paws neatly together.
he looked up at me.

stupid cat
(:
my nickname for him

i stared at him:
"oh yeaa,
you're probably what's wrong."

"meow"
was all he said in retort.

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:54 PM

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credits

layout by chris. (:

my|ife

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my world

forgotten secrets
poetic poetry(:
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mommie
sugarr
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[blogger]
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just for laughs
my boyfriend's a twat
overheard in New York

peeeeektooores!(:

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.