with |ove; me

Sunday, May 14, 2006

"...i'm disposable to you, like a piece of tissue you blow your nose on"
Carrie, auditions

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

lovely mother's day dinner
after a simple lunch and everything

went off in the afternoon to do this acting website shiat.
whatever whatever

back to school tomorrow,
starting to become a chore again because of mrs B and kok

"they just sit around all day piercing each other" - me
"yea,in more ways than one" - mom

guffaws

"huh? whaaat?" - janice
"sorry, inside joke" - me

more guffaws
"no pun intended!" - me

haha
oh whatever

snap my sex band baby

disposable,like a piece of tissue

because i don't want to be so needy.
and yet,
deep inside i know i am.
i am needy,
and it scares me
i don't want to need you so much

because it's so,
i'm not sure,
one sided.
in some ways

i'm changing i guess,
just a little in that way.
allowing myself to become someone so much less needy,
so much less needy of you

tears that freeze upon my cold cold heart

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:45 PM

Comments:

Hi! I'm Eunice... I was browsing through the aadb site, uploading photos and editing my profile and all that, and I saw yours (and thereafter found my way here)! And I realised that I probably saw you at the auditions today because I remember seeing someone who looked like you (and is most likely you), and I remember thinking "she's kinda cool" :)

So yeah, just saying hi :)

# posted by

Eunice : 12:54:00 AM

Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.