with |ove; me

Friday, June 29, 2007

me like this peeektoore!

HAPPY NATIONAL SIBLING DAYYYYY!
WHOOOO!

yes, apparently it's National Sibling Day but only in like twenty-something states.
still.

so anyway, i had a greeeaaat time yesterday.
it was gorgeously fun and i didn't even get drunk!
whoo hoo.

my body is aching and i'm planning on changing my hair again.
haha.
like you know, having "undyed" hair and removing my extentions.
surprisingly, it's kinda hard looking after your hair when you've got extentions in them.

i've never had them in for this long, and i've barely hit a month with my hair extentions.
haha.
i just really like them cos they feel real and they're like, pink and purple.
excess washing is taking its effect though.

soooo.
i read my buu's blog, especially the bit about O's and stuff.
i don't think i've told anyone but,
as much as it doesn't seem it,
i'm just as scared.

sure, i don't have much to worry about in comparison to all my friends in PL.
nonetheless,
i'll admit, quite readily, that i am scared.

of course, i believe very strongly that one does not need a piece of paper to determine where you're going.
the rest of your life, your entire future should not be hinged on your O level certificate.
because as you continue on studying,
you'll find that the "your future" line is attached to every other exam.

the next big-assed exam will be your A levels or something.
or you'll be trying to get more certificates, more papers which state that you've got a degree or something.

the reason i want to do well for my O levels is so that i can get over it and move on.
It's so that i can say I've done it, and not just for the sake of doing it or because i had to.
It's because i actually want to.

yea, believe it.
i do actually want to do my O levels and do well.

thinking about the upcoming O levels gets my palms sweaty and i swear my eyeballs start rolling backwards and i'm about
this close to going into convulsions.

i woke up the other day wondering if it was a mistake to leave PL.
it's the enforced discipline i guess,
the excess work and lessons they give us which basically leave you with little time to yourself, but you have time to yourself at the end of the day.
my school on the other hand,
requires a lot of self-study.
there's so much free time that you don't know what is deserved and what is underserved.
it's up to oneself to study, and study hard.

there's pros and cons on both sides i guess

it's just scary,
knowing that O levels is exactly three months and three weeks away.
on top of that (i know i got myself into this, okay)
i've got Teenage Icon tomorrow,
and if i make it to semis, it's another performance in august.

there's also a reunion Skins shizzshazz which i can't wait to do.
it's also in august.

sigh
typing all this out and being truly realistic with myself,
i know i'm gonna have to study harder, a lot harder.
just so that i can afford to take time off for my rehearsals and whatnot.

oh gawd. i'm getting stupider!

me,sitting beside tv: hey this song is nice!
janice:yea
me: the guy looks familiar, who is it?
janice, narrowing eyes: Bon Jovi

yea, okayyyy
i guess i should get off the com and do something constructive.
my body's aching like a bitch

- xoxo
charis loves you
1:43 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.