Monday, May 21, 2007
I am appalled by the underhanded methods my old school has adopted in their perverse attempt to make themselves feel superior to their students, as well as to prove, more to themselves rather than the rest of the world who hardly gives two hoots, that they are righteous,
God-fearing creatures who are disgusted by the idea of anything remotely out of the ordinary.
I was cautioned and told that, all being fair, perhaps their actions are due to the fact that
they do not understand. But what, may i ask you, could they possibly
not understand? What is there to understand at all, in fact?
It is known, and has been caught on by the government and its media. A blog, like or unlike this very same one which you are reading, is an online journal.
Some, like myself, use it as a platform to air whatever grievances or personal opinions one might have about various happenings in our lives. Others use it as a report of their daily happenings. Whatever the case, should one be penalized and persecuted for the content of their own personal blogs?
It is the same as your mother looking through your private diary and telling you off for writing or using crude swear words.
It is the same as anyone looking through your penned down thoughts, meant for your eyes only, and using it against you.
True, a blog is slightly different from a private journal in that once those words or pictures are published, it is on worldwide web and become public property rather than your own.
Therefore, it is understandable if
bloggers are fined or sued due to racist remarks or scathing comments on the government, should their words be completely baseless.
Those, are completely different from say, a girl posting a picture up of her outing with her friends.
And is that not where most of our pictures come from? Few of us, (with the exception of celebrity
bloggers like Wendy
Cheng, known as
xiaxue) would have photographs taken of ourselves in our room, alone, with a messy study table as a backdrop and would post it up on our blog saying,
"This is what i did today!"
No, we would put up pictures with our friends or family, whatever the occasion happens to be.
Let's face it, shall we? As teenagers and even as adults, more so girls, ladies and women, we love to cam-whore. We are, just that little bit, narcissistic, just that little bit in love with ourselves, and we will have a million and one different poses for the camera.
some could be of us smiling, some could be of us pretending to think, some could be of us blowing kisses to the camera. And of course, some of those pictures, could be of us kissing our lovers or even our friends and family.
And so, if one happens to post up a picture of herself kissing her mother's cheek, would you pull her out of class, reprimand her and as i type this out, have her in fear of being suspended from school for a term?
I think not.
If one happens to post a picture of herself kissing her sister's cheek, would you do such a thing?
Highly improbable.
How about if one posts a picture of herself, in uniform, kissing her boyfriend's cheek when he is also in uniform?
By gosh! What on earth would the public think of that?
Absolutely nothing, i can tell you, quite honestly. The older generation might frown at it but everybody else, parents included, would think it terribly sweet that the couple share something so very innocent and special, like a kiss on the cheek. Rather than making out and practically having sex in that picture.
Now, how about if the girl is in uniform and she is kissing her friend's cheek. A friend who is female. What would your first thought be?
Because honestly speaking, that seems much more acceptable than a picture of a girl kissing her boyfriend's cheek.
Obviously, that has not been treated as such, which is my grouse with a school i used to love so terribly.
It is plain to see that they are taking such melodramatic actions towards the few girls who happen to have pictures kissing each other's cheek, simply because of their insecurity about the stigma attached to the school name.
But please, your school is not the only school with such a problem.
Being a single sex school, the public is fully aware that homosexual relationships are highly likely to develop. Whether or not it is accepted is completely different.
No one blames the school and few would blame the students.
For some, it is no more than a phase and a stage which they go through and eventually grow out of. For others, they know that their sexual preference is for those of the same sex.
Everyone knows this and none condemn it.
Why should you?
It is all too clear, that you are building cases on something you deem as a "problem" in your school. A glitch, an imperfection.
And you are taking deliberate steps to condemn the "culprits" of such "problematic cases".
Proving to yourself that, you are in control of the situation and hoping these drastic measures taken against behaviour which vaguely hints at homosexuality will scare your student body.
You want them to fear you. You seem to get such an incredible orgasmic high from penalizing these poor students, reducing them to tears and hacking mercilessly away at their precious self esteem.
You want the students' fear of having the same thing happening to them to prevent them from any homosexual inkling that they might have dared to lend their mind to for even the briefest second.
You hope, desperately, so very desperately, that your actions will thus, in this way, completely rid your school of homosexuals and you will have the perfect school. The perfect school which is single sex and yet, not infamous for homosexuality.
May i now ask you, with all due respect, how different are you from Hitler?
The man who had this great obsession to create a perfect race and made drastic actions to rid his country of Jews.
You're like Lord
Farquad in
Shrek 1, who decided that Fairytale creatures were poisoning his perfect little kingdom and proceeded to terminate all of them.
In your self-righteousness you are blind, blind to the fact that some of these students, before you picked them out for such a petty little case, have done nothing but worship the God you worship, clean up the mess you leave behind at school functions and undergo training to equip themselves with greater skill in order to serve you better than they already do.
You are blind to the fact that some of these students are taking their O levels this year and are sitting for their Chinese O level exam in a few weeks time.
What are you doing, fool?
What are doing to these students who have never consciously, maliciously or deliberately defamed your school and brought you dishonour?
These same students who consciously, with all their heart, soul, mind and every ounce of effort they are made up of, have instead, brought you such honour and such glory.
What are you doing to them?
what are you doing to them?Do your actions make you feel better about yourself? Does it make you feel more pure and holy?
I myself struggle with my beliefs, mainly Christianity. Would you like to know why?
It is because of they hypocrisy i have had to live with and couldn't help but study.
It is because of you.
Everyday you pray, everyday you sing praises, everyday you ask that the Lord make you a better person.
And yet, everyday you pull out students who have hair which is too long, or have hair which is too short.
Everyday you shout at those students who refuse to sing the praises that you do.
Everyday you condemn the students who are different and who stand out.
You scold a student for lying, you shout at her, scream at her and throw demerit points at her.
But when the mother of the child bursts into your office demanding why you shouted at her child so loud that she could hear it on the other side of the door,
you turn around, smiling and say,
"Oh but i wasn't shouting at your child. i was merely asking her a question."
You interrogate us on our moral values, but where, may i ask,
are yours?
"Let he who has done no wrong, cast the first stone."And oh! I'm sure you never had an inkling of romanticism for someone of the same gender which is why you're allowed to point the finger, isn't that right?
Do you know how many people in your school today are perfectly straight, but don't appear to be? And do you know, that when you pick them out and punish them for looking like they're not straight, their young minds start to think that
"maybe I'm like this because i was supposed to be a boy/girl"
Do you know, thanks to what you've done, another student would have entered your school straight but would have left, thinking they're not. And they will spend their lives wondering what doesn't fit and why everything seems the wrong way up.
"Tough love" did you say it was? That this was a fact of life? Like how one has to learn the hard way, like a mother reprimands her son for taking a lollipop he shouldn't have?
Do you know what i think is "tough love"?
Watching you, drown in your hypocrisy and lies, knowing how much i love you, as a school, and yet, i want to hate you so much. For everything you've done to me, and my friends.
Watching you point a finger at me for the possibility of being a homosexual and trying to make me feel bad about it when it is i, who feel sorry for you.
You sad, lone person who is so fearful of what he doesn't know.
Tough love, is a mother watching her son reach for the hot iron after she has warned him about it, watching him get burned and cry, feeling his pain. But she is still there, cleaning his wound and comforting him.
I, we, will live the rest of our lives making our own mistakes. Finding what we should and should not believe in. We'll make love with the wrong people, the opposite sex, or the same. But we will stand naked, without false pretenses unlike you.
We will watch you shrivel up like a prune when your actions come back to haunt you,
when your wife leaves you for another woman or when your husband leaves because you threw him out of bed for jacking off under the covers.
we might say "i told you so" or we might not,
you taught us to be gracious and so, unlike you, we will not rub your faces in the dirt, when the time comes.
The world will see that we have grown up stronger as a person, more confident of our sexuality,
more confident than you.
And as much as we'd hate to, we just might say that it is thanks to you, a school we once served in,
who, thanks to your condemnation and discrimination, made us believe only more firmly that the world is cruel, but we are who we are.
We will be thankful that we didn't grow up to be hypocrites, like you.
Maybe we'll find our God, maybe we'll believe in Him again.
Because oh, i do want to.
I will learn from your mistakes.
Gay or not, i will love myself.
Gay or not, i will love my children.
Do you know what you're afraid of?
No, you're not afraid of the public eye as you claim to be.
It is not that you fear public scrutiny or fear the image projected of your school.
What you are afraid of, is something slightly different from what you're used to.
The world is changing, homosexuality, more acceptable.
And you, my friend, are afraid of that.
More than that,
i think you are afraid of yourself.
That secretly, you are just like us.
a creature, needy for love, sex and even God at the same time.
But you refuse to admit that you're even remotely like us,
human.
i feel sorry for you, i really do.
What i feel pissed off about,
is you, all of you, getting your little spies who are in desperate need of power,
to find out about your student body and grass on them.
What happened to your united student body?
Sooner or later, this will come out.
it will fall open into the hands of everybody, and what will you have,
to say for your sorry, scheming selves?
This isn't like an old case, where a member of the public reported it to you.
The picture in question, is by far,
infinitely cleaner and in no way, tarnishes your name, or whatever reputation that you'd like to think you have.
Still,
you choose deliberately to punish the girls involved, keep them on their toes for right now,
and hanging on to a bare thread, in fear for their lives.
There will only be so much a student can take,
soon this will come full circle, back to you.
For now, we'll wipe away the tears our friends have shed, and we'll wipe our own.
we will regain our dignity and walk off knowing who we are,
and more importantly, what we are.
And it is you, whom we feel sorry for.
You
might've thought you've won,
in your warped disillusioned little mind.
We'll give you your incredible orgasmic high and we,
we will be pissed off.
But being pissed off and stronger,
is better than being plain stupid.
Disclaimer:
whether this post is about a fictional or non-fictional event is up to you to decide.
But i assure you, that any resemblance or familiarity that any of these words bear, is purely coincidental
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:14 AM
peeeeektooores!(: