with |ove; me

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

and those time are
slippin out of reach
and those times are
blurry i can't see

and i miss them,
but they ain't coming back to me

oh joy,
my life couldn't get any better

i'm gonna go running later,
it's been a great outlet
i did 2.5km last night and already my legs are aching

bet you never woulda thought charis went running
haha

anyway,
today was great, before the news hit me

spent lunch with my cousins from malaysia, my dad's side.
had dinner with them last night too

i know i know, i don't really talk about my cousins.
haha
but i've got lots of them all over the place to be honest

as usual, the parents remember the times we ran around half naked with each other in the courtyard(they've got pictures and videos!)
but on the other hand,
both of us don't remember that

it's quite cute,
we're the same age, Louisa and i
and Jude and Janice are the same age
hung out at tm while our mothers caught up on the years they lost

took neoprints
jude's glasses got crushed, like ohmygawd

today was pretty much it.
my sister's broken out in like crazy rashes and i have to take her to the doctors

i havn't got my sweet sixteen party planned out so i might just do whatever it was i was planning on doing by myself

i'm getting pissed off and restless now,
i'm done crying
everything's so painful that it's numb, so numb

you'll never let me forget. you'll never ever let me forget.
you'll always make me pay for it, and maybe i deserve that

those moments, barely under my fingertips

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:28 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.