with |ove; me

Thursday, March 15, 2007

i could feel you right there,
so close, inside me

they say the problem with giving your heart to someone is that,
you never do get your heart back.
a part of you will always be left with that other person;
a mark, a scar, whatever you choose to name it.
evidence of a hadbeens and usedtobes

when you say "oh that'll never happen"
you can't really say that and mean it, because you never know.
"we'll never not be friends"
well you don't know that now do you?
"i'll never leave you,"
well, we can't say that either now can we?

i took great care to make sure that when i said something like that,
it had depth in it.
of course, just one of my statements has backfired and proved me wrong
but believe me,
everything else hasn't

like when i said,
"i'll never love another like i loved you"
i know that for sure, because you were so special to me.
"there'll never be anyone like you"
that much is true too because you can find your mr perfect and know that you've lost him,
or you're losing him

"it won't happen again"
how can i promise you it won't?
a one time mistake was all it was and i've been burnt enough to know.
i won't ever ever let it happen again,
and we are all capable of controlling these things.
like when i said
"i'll never go clubbing again without you"
i havn't, unless it's a non-alcholic party and you know about it

just give me one more try for the sake of our love,
just give me one more chance, cos i can't give you up.
can't have one more day without you in my life
i can never find another boy like you

please?

- xoxo
charis loves you
1:47 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.