with |ove; me

Sunday, February 11, 2007

i'm feeling your lips leave mine,
as you whisper your sorry goodbyes

how does one say no,
take candy away from a baby
and hear it cry

week seven, here i come
geography test tomorrow

and a whole bunch right after cny
isn't school lovely
omg
i found this cutecute version of the school song
sung by yours truly of course

yesterday was pretty much a whirlwind for me
this moment
just this moment
where i wasn't charis,i wasn't there
it wasn't me walking outta that room
but it was me breathing in the fresh air and asking why
is it like that with all marriages?
would alastair have said something like that to me?
ever?

and then of course,
as we all do eventually,
i got over that
and then when i was home
it was just that.
well i felt, not for the first time that day
that i wasn't enough

but who am i kidding,
i can't ever be enough for you
as hard as i try,
as much as you say you love me,
and as much as i know you do
i also know,
how i can't be enough for you

every day,
every turn
in those odd moments,
i realize
and i know that
and i'm sorry
i'm so sorry for that
for not being enough for you

and i'm thinking,
one day i won't be enough for you to stay
won't be enough to look back and remember what we used to be and what we could be
one day everything i have and everything i've given
won't mean a thing
and all i'll see,
is you walking away from me

there goes my hero
watch him as he goes
there goes my hero
he's ordinary

and what more can i do now?
than love you with all i'll ever have
and hope you love me too.

your breath so soft in my ear,
as you tell me the words i dread to hear
that you will take this chance
jump, not knowing where you'll fall
still i know,
that i'll never leave
and i'm here for you to run back to
because no matter what,
i'm gonna love you

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:31 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.