with |ove; me

Monday, February 12, 2007

scumbag
it took me a while to get to blogging
though i had the page opened for quite a while

i will state here clearly, that alastair, this isn't for you to read
because i know how you feel about this

i am so annoyed, so pissed off
that i will write what i will, and guess what
i mean every word
at the beginning, i couldn't even be bothered to blog about this
now,
i will take the time to create an awareness
and oh believe me darlings,
this will not stay here
this story will spread
i gurantee you

i met marcus online when i was thirteen
more specifically, he found me on Friendster
now everyone knows what a favour that does
i went out with him once, just once
and before our little rendezvous, i made my rules clear
1)i don't kiss on first dates
2)i don't think highly of those who cross my boundaries and bend my rules

(my boyfriend after this was an exception and if you are familiar with who i'm talking about then shhh!)

of course, he crossed boundaries and i walked away
since then,
we would text at random
when he randomly needs to borrow cash,
something or another

when that happened, alastair called to tell him off
but even after we still kept in random contact

today, Pris and i discovered the marcus we were discussing was one and the same

he had asked us both out this morning
how fucking unbelieveable is that!
pris and i proceeded to play up our part to throw his stupidity back in his face and in the end we did, though not quite as dramatically as we had planned

he had the nerve to text the both of us saying how we had hurt him,
that we were vengeful,
that God never had anything against this "open-mindedness" on his part
why could we not love as God had loved us

Pris and i retaliated in very different ways
while she threw back bible verses at him to beat him at his own game,
i was fed up to the T with this little dirt bag and told him so

He could throw as much hypocritical bullshit at me but i was through
(yes, finally)
because i've believed him every single time he said he'd changed
Marcus, who is currently studying in Millenia Institute,
give christians and catholics a bad name

three years ago,
i was a strong enough christian to walk away
and now, i will honestly admit that though my ways are not as
christian-like as they used to be,
i am the same person
the same one who saw through his lies but fell for it all over again
yes, i have had enough

i never knew that such a dirtbag could exist in a human being until i met him

oh i could write more,
oh so much more but you know what,
there are really other things nagging me right now.

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:00 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.