with |ove; me

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

now,
how would you feel,
if you asked someone out to study and that someone gave you a vauge answer which obviously,
bordered on No,
due to lethargy perhaps or something.

but then, after that,
that person proceeded to go out with friends for a movie.

now,
how would you feel?

it's true,
i havn't really felt what it's like to have a boyfriend for some time now

oh, but just when it was getting good again.
perfect, wonderful and those little glitches,
getting glazed over

i thought it was perfect,
just those minor details
but everyone knows those minor details count ohsomuch
and those minor details were almost perfect,
and then.

now,
how would you feel?

i got a bunch a stuff back from school today;
i scored highest for literature assignment and i did kinda well for my literature test.
i also did well for my graded chem assignments,
one was a full five marks and the other, was an 8 out of 10

just when i was doing well eh?

tomorrow's the literature test,
i don't get why in all the other cases that i've heard of,
they get to go back to school to do their tests while i,
don't.

i think my literature will be pretty good anyways,
and even if my bio is struggling with all the extra info, my chemistry will pull it up
not that i should really bother because after all,
my first term this year,
isn't counted at all

after weeks of waking up on time, early
being in school and being so so caught up in the whirlwind of
whatneedstobedone,
i was so completely loss as to what to do today

i shuffled about,
singing random songs, eating random foods
and typing random stuff into the computer

and after i passed the computer over for my sister's usage,
i kinda shuffled about,
kinda paced back and forth for a bit,
wondering what it was that i had to do.

pathetic isn't it?

well it would be like that, you know
jumping from rushing limitless amounts of projects, homework and assignments
down to,
well absolutely nothing actually.

i'm working on an essay now.
hmm,
i ought to read it out for the public apology.

i heard that my class was told a story today
i heard that half of em believe it, which is expected,
and some of them don't,
but most people don't really care.

what i did hear though,
was that everyone sat up and was aghast about the public apology
okay, maybe not everyone. but it's nice to hear

your momma's so stupid,
she gave birth to you.

my momma's so fucking pissed,
she's gonna screw you upside down

watchwhereyou'regoingbitch

now,
how would you feel?

- xoxo
charis loves you
9:28 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.