alone i was
before your love
when i saw you
i knew my life was touched

i saw your smile
and then i knew
that everything i felt
inside was true

i saw your smile
and then i knew
that i was gonna spend
my life with you


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Sunday, January 28, 2007

because we're still as perfect as ever aren't we?

it's been a week i struggled through
it's pretty much the same
monday - like omg! another week
wednesday - middle of the week at last but ohsotiring
friday - i hate fridays because i'm in school like for eleven hours straight
no, even the prospect of having the weekend stretched out before me doesnt make me any happier

so week after week it's pretty much like this

BUT i will pull through

lots of things have been peeving me but i suppose it's just my timeofthemonth coming up
something cool about that,
was that my last one started on the 30th of last month
i have this off notion that in a while,
the number will soon move and jump around and i'll end up having my period once in two months, not because i dont eat but rather simply because of the odd numbers

okay
i should stop talking about timeofthemonths on world wide web

aneeeewayyy
i'm extremely loooneeelyyy

no, seriously
i mean, with my new class, because of our screwed up timetable
i realized that every single day i go for breaks with different people
and we have two breaks a day
hurr

on top of that,
baby beegay, who i'm kinda closest to because ann and dory are the charmers and bird is just, well bird, baby beegay is busy with her twat
and i'm
hmmm
coping with new stuffs and more new stuffs and settling myself with my pretty lifeless life
bet you never thought charis would say that
but oh yes

meanwhile,
on friday night i had math tuition
ooh wow
after my looong week ending with a looong day
i had tuition for MATH
but oh you know,
it was sooo worth it because i think my math tutor is dayam cute
and daaaamn daaaamn hot

oh but what a shame,
i doubt he'll be my permanant tutor
depending on hmm
my grades i'm guessing

i've got math tuition today again
mmm, yummy

mathmathmath

i bet you'd never have thought i'd say that either
but wheee

okay shutup charis

i need to lost weight for chinese new year
i'm hoping to go swim with bird next week or something
except
she swims for 2 and a half hours straight
and if i'm in the pool for 2 and a half hours
i'll probably spend the first two hours floating around and farting in the pool
okay i make myself sound so gross
or maybe i'll stick to performing in vicky's pool
yes that's right,
performing
haha

we scream and sing and annoy entertain her neighbours
or more specifically, tanny's neighbours
we have stuff like
"do you know the muffin man?"
and vicky just chants
"MUFFIN MUFFIN MUFFIN"

oh yes,
and my sister splashes in the background floating around in the huge orange float

okay enough enough

things that have been happening recently have gotten me
well thinking,
thinking really hard about marrying the wrong guy and the children i might or might not have
having divorced parents and seeing broken families increase like all over the fucking place
honestly,
gets me fucking scared
scared that i'll marry the wrong guy
but more importantly
i don't want my children to end up being the ones crying themselves to sleep at night
or writing emo songs
or carving the names of their parents on their forearm
something that scared me even more was what my mom said
she said that marriage is a huge gamble
and you just gotta keep working at it

even though i'm someone who takes chances and risks
i don't want my marriage to be a gamble
i wanna know it's gonna work

now i sound crazy don't i?

ah wells

back to school tomorrow
back to unwinding more string from the very same ball

yours, all yours(:
i like your crazy jealous side,
but even more,
i like when you admit it to me afterwards

miles between us but i know you're right here

- xoxo
charis loves you
11:51 AM

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just for laughs
my boyfriend's a twat
overheard in New York

peeeeektooores!(:

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.