with |ove; me

Monday, December 11, 2006

i just came back from the filming of blogtv which will be shown
next tuesday at 8pm(:

it was honestly really fun,
on and off set
talking about so so much.
inclusive of xiaxue and all

anyway,
my initial reason for deciding to blog was because i'm horribly pissed off with my sister
but now,
after the moment's passsed,
i kinda just feel drained

i'm just bloody annoyed because,
at thirteen,
she's doing what she always has since young
calling mummy up,
pulling her right into the middle of our minor sister tiffs

and if she doesn't do that,
she gets her back by dissing out whatever hold it is she has over me
even if it's as minor as
"i saw jie out with some unknown guy at orchard"

oh believe me

on top of all that,
of course,
she's not pleased that my friends and i are buying over a night from daddy
so she tells mummy about my stepmother being there

for a start,
i'm hoping to double, triple check with my father about that
and if my stepmom is gonna be there
i wanted to find a way of sitting down to talk about it with my mother

because (unlike some people)
i actually wanted to break it easy
i've listened and i know her point of view

of course janice had to selfishly declare it in the restaurant.
her ulterior motive?
she just didn't wanna be stuck in a hut with my dad and stepmom
so she had to just tell my mother like that
harsh and crass

i'm done being annoyed.

just a moment to air my dirty laundry

but this is something that has and has been bothering me

tonight, it just happened again

grow old with you

- xoxo
charis loves you
11:37 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.