with |ove; me

Sunday, October 01, 2006

so.
i don't know
how i should feel

for a start,
happy 370th post

celebrated mummy's birthday yesterday
put in as much effort as i could,
not to mention the little extra allowance our grand uncle gave us
yea,
to say i was happy was an understatement when he gave me a hundred bucks
because this would contribute to mummy's little birthday thing at jazz @ southbridge

mummy's little shopping spree landed me the thumbdrive i've needed
even though my sudden desperation for it was taken care of by alastair lending me his
the thumbdrive was good,
and pretty damn cheap

$37 for two 1gb thumbdrives

i'm pretty pleased when mummy hands me the new package

meanwhile,
janice gets a mp3 and mummy's bought herself an mp4 which looks pretty much like a nano with buttons

charis,
get over it
give not to receive

yea
you can't help thinking about
and i'm quiet as mummy excitedly unloads her purchases.

this slight unfairness, though i shouldnt call it that actually
is just a bit different from my step mom giving me thirty bucks and giving janice twenty
or something like that

oh fucking shit,
i should shut the fuck up
and stop fucking comparing

mummy's so happy.
i love seeing her that way

who can blame her?
shopping makes us girls happy

she's also bought a new(and supposedly better)
digital camera

yay,
yay for our new baby
yay for mummy's self birthday present
yay for janice's mp3 which she's always wanted
and erm
yay for my thumbdrive!
i need it for art anyway

yay(:

i've cried too much today,
i have to stop

- xoxo
charis loves you
8:41 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.