with |ove; me

Sunday, September 10, 2006

now isn't this picture like
hmmm
haha

i took it some time back but it was worth it
i've always hated guys carrying their ladies handbag like
they're freaking handicapped or something
yet,
being with alastair, i found myself doing that
haha
he spoils me, you know

i think vicky's post makes a fuck load of sense
really

and i shall add on to it
that it's hard to promise forever
but you can promise to love for as long as you can

aidan sent me this email
about how to be a better couple
haha
nothing new of course,
read it all before

but there was this bit
it said that especially for guys,
for a relationship to work,
you have to talk it out

i mean, everyone who's anyone and been alive long enough to talk will know
through and through
that guys always always always
avoid looong talk-it-out conversations
and i guess,
though i don't really think about it,
what i ~~found~~ find so special about alastair,
one of the reason that i'm so in love with him even til now,
is because unlike all other guys,
he's willing to talk it out

and in many ways,
he's willing to talk things out more than i am
sometimes i can't find the words
but i can type or write it out
but i can't bring myself to say it
it's silly, funny at the same time

but yes, anyway

diddums

SO

school holidays are over
not a lot of studying's been done and especially not a lot of art
i have a lot to catch up on and do need to limit and stop not coming to school
it's important
i have only four weeks til exams

and i don't want to be retained

and i've got seriously high potential of being retained

the school wants to see mummy again

oh just go away
pfft

i want to improve my english

new term, new start
new fucking shit eh?
whee, here we go again
deja vu, attempt number ~~two~~ fuckingfour

(:

I try to smile my tears away
i try to keep my cool
oh but one more door gets in my way
i feel like such a fool
trampled and bitter
my heart just wants to bleed and stop
believing in me

it feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
when they're lowering the curtain to the
Theatre of my dreams
I stumble and i crumble and i'm
sinking to my knees but you
you cradle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms i find the strength
to believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where i go
oh and life likes pretending that it's
on a tv show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the world i seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world

'cause when i'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like i can breathe again.

you know this is for you

- xoxo
charis loves you
9:26 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.