with |ove; me

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

this was on marisse's blog
and maybe it was because of how the passage started off with a
"dear baby,"
and ended off with a
"love, mommy"

but basically i read it,
and i didn't just run my eyes over the words
i let it absorb and i took it in and i found it ever so beautiful

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever
let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every
time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone
you love.
So take too many pictures,
laugh too much,
and love like you've never been hurt
because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness
you'll never get back.

so the weekend was good,
at one point in time i found myself cold and alone as i took a long walk
i dissolved into tears and called ann
i guess in many ways i never expected anyone to understand per say,
but she did
she did
and that meant a lot

alastair got worried when he heard of course,
and i guess a part of him wondered and still wonders now why i didn't talk to him about stuff like that
whether or not we're in a relationship
but well,
i don't know

he knew about her,
but i don't think he knew about her
i don't think i'm making sense to most people here

well thanks ann(:

apparently there was a surprise party,
i do hope alastair had fun.
especially considering it was all his old classmates and everyone knows how special they are to each other

throat infection since like two weeks ago,
sucks fuck i'm telling you.
my play is coming out in exactly a week
tomorrow is a special day for mummy and i
and thursday mummy has a date with the Bird

sec4 farewell was amazing.
well duh(:
guess who helped plaaaan

okay, enough
i guess the most beautiful part,
would have to be,
without a single doubt,
the dedications.
it was supposed to be so special
from us sec threes to the sec fours

but of course,
during dedication time
everyone else wants to dedicate
and how oyounger could i possibly tell the younger ones,
no. this is a sec three thing
as a result,
some people got more dedications,
some people got less
but we all know the one and only who got NONE
J_H_N_A
that's cos no one likes her
okay i'm being mean

to me,
in some ways,
it( the personal dedications)
get touching only to a certain extent
then when everyone does it
it's not that special
so in some ways
the non-sec 3 dedications kinda ruined it
but what the hell la
i mean,
if i was a junior and i had something to say,
i'd kick myself for not having the chance to do so

i wanted to upload a couple of pictures
and move on to some other stuff
but well
the damn thing isn't working
fuckshit

i look at you,
i see your heart
i'm only just starting to get to know you

my getaway weekend

- xoxo
charis loves you
1:30 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.