with |ove; me

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

she dances yes,
but oh she dances all alone

the sharp click of my heels on the cold white tiled floor of the hotel
it was freezing
like how i felt on the inside

i went to the toilet back in the other building
the fancy hotel one was closed
i wanted to break
because i was holding it in,
i had been for so long.

and in the comfort of the small cubicle,
then i broke,
and cried it out
and cried and cried.

rehearsals have been absolutely amazing.
so much progress
so much feel
so much emotion, practice, action
DRAMA

be the scrat
i have to be the scrat!

vaunt, good boring
too much yada yada yada i'm sure most would agree
dance, place big
limited words here

i loved how i spent last night(:

and i can't help falling in love with my widdle buu over and over and over again

she's expressed in words,
more than i can, i swear
and for that,
thank you my darling buu

i carved i love you on my arm with a knife
they say time heals all wounds,
well the bleeding stopped and the carving scabbed over
but the scars' still there
just like my love for you
will always always be there

- xoxo
charis loves you
6:15 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.