with |ove; me

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

for 11 and a half hours, alastair hadn't contacted me

i was worried sick and 9pm seems abit too late for tennis

my mind ran wild, i didn't know what could've happened.
what if he'd been on his way home and gotten hurt?

i called shiyun so i could reach weiwen,
of course, only ending up in embarrassing myself when he texted back

but when he finally did text back,
i couldn't help crying just that little bit
im not very sure why even now

but the relief
oh my word, the relief

and i thought so many things could've happened to him,
i go so scared, so worried.
i wondered what would've happened if something bad had happened,
i imagined so many things while trying desperately to call.
my phonebook doesnt have any of his friends besides wen and i guess i was rather annoyed at myself and upset that i couldn't ask his friends
i called his home
not much help honestly speaking

but when i realized he was alright,
i realized too
just how much he meant to me
i realized how worried i could get
and how i wouldn't know what to do
if something bad really did happen to him

and i realized how much i loved him
i realized
just how important he was to me

so this is love
mmmmmhmmm
so this love

my heart has wings
mmmmmhmmmmm
and i can fly

- xoxo
charis loves you
10:35 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.