with |ove; me

Sunday, April 09, 2006

you were pissed off with something that had just happened and you took it out on me. got all upset with me cos i behaved like i wasn't listening when i fucking was. then saying the day wasn't all that bril

today actually wasn't that bad til just now
well it's really not that bad anymore to be honest because he vented a bit then went for dinner.
dinner dinner dinner(:
mummy's coming home and bringing dinner with her!
and OOOOOOH
DURIANS
<3

so anyway,
today was nice,short and sweet.
literally
5 hours is equivilant to about 2 minutes
so an hour would beeeeee
hmmmm

baby went on to enjoy his funfilled, action-packed day which in the end turned out to be a one-on-one date with Ben. haha.
his poor friend Germaine probably felt uncomfortable with them being all so lovey-dovey.
tsktsk

haha

anyway,
yesterday was okay

yeaa i was depressed,
and everything just made me more depressed like
oh i don't know how to put it

the esplanade and the walking around eating subway cookies was funfunfun(:

thinking about it now i'm smiling to myself like some idiot

but yes,
it was fun

i absolutely loved it even though i didn't really show it yesterday,
and i'm sorry for that.

after church was roomful of blues
oh it was LOVELY
hilbert played and sang at about 11.30
he's a friend of my mom's and uncle adam's

i knew his voice and guitar playing was amazing
but last night
wow
i saw a different side of AMAZING

haha
victor was there too
you could tell he was enjoying himself
i love seeing victor like that!
haha
singing to himself
super cute

pushed bunnykins up to play on the drums
he claimed he sucked and it was super hard
well,
it sounded hard but he definitely didn't suck(:

home after that

Alpha camp was super super fun(:
i promised myself i'd try everything except flying fox
just cos i didn't wanna try flying fox cos i just don't wanna
anyway
i rock-climbed and reached the top!
wheee
YAY FOR ME

i think i accomplished all i wanted to

okay, day ruined
pretty much anyway

i don't wanna talk about it here

okay, besides the point

BABY!
you didn't tell your mummy where you were and she's all worried!
tsk

i hope you'll read this,
i don't know if you still read my blog and stuff
but i do hope you'll read this
you're not an ant,
you're not a passerby in my life
knowing you helped me in ways i probably don't even know yet
you're special
to me and to many more people than you probably even realize
you're not an ant,
remember that.
you're not just another person
and all i can say is that,
for someone who cares as much as you do,
you're certainly okay with me being hurt.
because it hurts more and more everytime you push me away like this
it really does

strange how guys make girls cry so easily

- xoxo
charis loves you
8:25 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.