with |ove; me

Friday, March 17, 2006

~~FUCKATSTIC FIFTEEN~~

FUCKED UP FIFTEENTH

tuesday night was fun
screaming like crazy and annoying the taxi driver.
i got a tan
pretty nice

wednesday was fun too
out with alastair,
after which there was the passover.

but then,
that was when all the crap started.

electricity cut
and my phone decided it was the perfect time to black out on me.
a day before
charis' big party day

i decided to stay home the following day til Romp at Zouk
i knew whatever it was wouldn't be so bad
i mean,
after all,
i was gonna have my fucktastic fifteenth at zouk!

i loved the alone time i had in the afternoon
though i started off willing time to pass faster,
i enjoyed the free time i had on my hands
and i enjoyed being able to take my own sweet time.
so that's exactly what i did.

i gave myself a manicure and a pedicure.
i love my toes now by the way
they're gorgeous(:

anyway,
did up my hair and put on makeup

i had everything going for me once i put on my brand new outfit.
new thong which matched my new handbag though no one would see,
new skirt,
new gorgeous top,
new hairclip

so went to outram and from there we all cabbed it to zouk.
it was only there that upon calling vicky i found out they had suddenly decided that the underaged party was now a 16 and above party.

like what the fuck.

vicky said i'd be able to get in but when i got there
i realized that they were actually checking each and every person's IC

i tried saying i was from overseas and visiting and durh,
didn't think to bring out my passport to and underaged party
the guy said it was illegal to walk around without identification on you and made me stand aside.
meanwhile,
all my friends managed to get in.
buu didn't pick up her phone,
neither did someone i knew who i was hoping to ask to put me on the guest list.

saw ivan,
met akira and jonathan for the first time.

in the end i left,
pretty upset at not being able to have fun like i planned.

then after that i found out that ann na desperately needed back the ic she'd passed to me.
how much more screwed up could things get?
it wasn't possible for me to cab it there and back home again,
it'd be way too expensive.

couldn't sleep though my bed was really comfortable

wandered around the house.
read til about 2.20am
cried a bit
closed my eyes and wondered for a bit what i'd be doing at zouk if i'd gotten in
then crawled into bed for a second chance at pretending everything was just an awful dream.
i slept.
but woke up at six,
no such luck.
real life was happening to me.

slept again til about ten, eleven
i wouldn't get alastair's birthday pressie til tomorrow.
well,
it would've been the only correct/right/perfect thing if i got my pressie on time.
i was looking forward to getting it though,
still am.
no one's fault.

watched tv,
ate ice cream outta the box
ann na called again and she was really desperate.
i felt so bad
cos she'd probably get into shit with her sister cos of me.
had lunch,
then went down and dropped off the card and ann na's place.
replaced my little sister's ez link card.

and yeaa
that's pretty much how i've spent my birthday.
pretty fucked up for something that was supposed to be fucktastic.
i guess i had fun and enjoyed myself purely because of the company.
other than that...

i think it was pretty childish of me to want so much on my birthday.
to wanna have fun and maybe a cake cos i hadn't requested a cake last year.
stuff like that.

ohoh,
get this:
zouk first opened in 1991,
the year i was born.

and an hour before my birthday,
i'm rejected at the door.

sighsighsigh

i'll get over it eventually though.
for those who got into zouk,
i'm sure you guys had lotsa fun
and i'm sure it was a lot like,
and probably way more than what you expected.
and i guess,
yeaa it was my loss that i didn't go for it.
not really that i didn't,
more like i couldn't.

thanks for the birthday wishes to those who sent it
but really,
in some ways it wouldn't be so bad if i didn't think of today as my birthday,
rather instead,
just another friday.

if you think
all dressed up, no place to go
is bad.
think again
try thinking
all dressed up, rejected at the door

Charis is fifteen today,
but she's just realizing how small and young and immature she actually is inside(:
it's all part of growing up.

i've started on part of alastair's birthday present,
i'm happy with myself for this <3

in case i don't get to say this personally,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE
IVAN
my darlingest twinnie
GRACE(:

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY,
TO MY BIRTHDAY TWINNIE
STEFFIEEEE(: <3

i'm being annoyed right now
really annoyed.
today is really really not my day.
i ought to stay home and have instant noodles for my birthday dinner.
but then again,
mummy's really trying to kinda cheer me up.

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
have a crappy sweet fifteenth
oh you're having one alreadeeee

- xoxo
charis loves you
6:34 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.