Monday, March 06, 2006
where do you draw the line between teacher and friend?
teachers always seem to want so much to be our friends,
yet somehow,
they turn around and say that on top of that,
they want the respect they deserve as a teacher.
i couldn't help thinking over and over again what happened today.
it was pure harmless fun as i had said in my reflection.
we, or maybe it was just me, considered ms chong to be a close enough friend/teacher that we could cross all boundaries.
hey,
who likes having cake smashed into your face?
but after the initial embarrasment and so on,
you get over it and laugh.
and you laugh at how stupid you looked like and reacted.
the reaction we got from our relief teacher today was far from what any of us expected.
sure,
many people said it wouldn't be a good idea.
if you ask me if i thought before doing what i did,
yes, i did.
i thought hard,
and i thought it'd be okay
i thought she'd laugh it off
maybe be a wee bit cross with us and tell us not to do it to other teachers.
but she didn't
she cried
and cried in the staff room
and cried til EJ came out to talk to us.
no,
not talk
yell at us because she thought it was such a cruel thing to do
"was there anything she did that made you think she was your friend"
i didn't say it,
but why,
of course!
only this very morning she had said she'd formed a special bond with all her lit classes
and i guess i thought,
why not our class in particular?
after all,
we are her form class.
i am solely to blame for this,
what happened today
because i came up with the idea
and even though ann na herself thought it better to smash it into her hands,
i went straight for the face.
it was all in the name of fun, no?
i couldn't help comparing teachers and their possible reactions
though as mummy says,
i shouldn't.
i know i definitely won't smash cake onto EJ's face.
hell no.
not just cos of this
but because she's old and not a friend to us students and
well,
old.
it's like smashing cake into your mother.
i say your mother cos my mother will probably laugh it off too
i was thinking,
Sandra Ang and even used her as an example in my reflection.
Sandra Ang is nice
and she is a friendly teacher as well as a friend.
i know i wouldn't smash cake into her face either because she has put up very clear boundaries from the start
we know what we have is a teacher-student friendship.
this is special and she's the kind, like Ms chan too thinking about it,
that we'd go partying with.
have drinks maybe if we're over proper age but no,
no smashing of cake into face.
why?
because we can confide in them so very very much
they are our teacher-friends.
we can go to them as friends if we'd like a teacher's perspective of something.
but they are still teachers.
i was thinking if we did smash cake into Ms Chan's face though,
if she was cross,
she would tell us off because our behaviour was over the limit and was inappropriate
either that or she'd laugh.
i think if it were her last day,
she's laugh and tell us to be careful not to do something like this to just anyone.
Mrs Tan..
hmm.
well i think anywhere we smash cake into her she'd laugh her crazy laugh
it would be okay
but maybe it's because she is a student's friend
no,
not just a friendly teacher though she is that as well,
but a student's friend.
maybe to save her the embarrasment cake smashing would only be done from somewhere other than the canteen.
anyway,
i think today was sad
because what was supposed to be a wonderful memorable day turned horribly nasty.
Ms Chong came to say her last words as i'd put it.
she had read my letter by then
and she explained why and how she felt.
she said she was happy we considered her a friend we could be so comfortable with
yet at the same time,
she wanted respect.
i found that awfully hard to understand
i mean,
i understood clearly what she meant
but it's awfully hard to do isn't it?
she was the supposed victim in today's episode.
we smashed cake into her face and hurt her feelings.
i realize with a very horrible pang,
that a tiny bit of her wonders if it was done with malice.
i found that out when i asked her
and she said
"i cannot answer that"
that was when the first tears pricked the corner of my eyes.
to be thought of in such a way,
that it could be thought that our purely harmless actions might be done
as a cruel and evil intention,
done deliberately to hurt someone.
does that sound like a pl lite to you?
it's sad.
because i know no matter how out of control pl-lites get,
no one can possible be filled with such pure evil and hatred that they'd do something like that.
i really really cannot.
so yes,
Ms Chong was the supposed victim in today's episode.
but look at it another way,
are we not victims too?
1st of all,
to be wrongly thought of.
that EJ would think it possible for us to do something with deliberate, malicious intent is more unbearable than the unfairness this one minute episode ended in.
secondly,
we were made to think and feel that this teacher,
only four years older than us was our older sister and good friend.
she was a teacher,
yes.
but a teacher who taught us.
she was a friend who was teaching us.
and yet,
she ran off crying
resulting in a huge horrible consequence for me, ann na and the others who stuck by us.
would a friend do that,
i ask you?
if you knew that it was all in good fun,
would you allow it to affect you so?
would even a hint of possible malice enter your mind?
the fact is,
no.
and so,
i realize that she wasn't really our friend.
she wanted to be
but
she wasn't ready for it.
when i tried to explain to Mrs Jacobs our relationship with our teacher
she said she wouldn't have wanted to be my friend.
because that is not the way she'd like appreciation to be shown
but the thing is,
we weren't showing appreciation.
she's still looking at any form of friendship with us,
being purely teacher-student
i wanted to ask her,
what if a group of your friends took you out and sprayed streamers into your hair,
poured confetti all over you and smashed a cake into your face?
would it have been different?
im not even saying close friends or best friends.
maybe a group of teachers,
say even consisting of the principle and Ms Gan even!
you might say that at your age such things are never even thought of and thus,
never expected.
Ms Chong isn't an adult,
she's not even 19 yet.
you cannot say her reaction would be the same as yours
though as it turns out,
we got the bigger suprise.
Mrs Jacobs asked what our definition of friends was.
did we know what made her happy?
what made her cry?
what problems she had in her life?
the answer was no,
we didn't
but as she pointed out, it was three months!
those kinda friends would be close friends.
we never claimed to be close friends
but i'll tell you what we are,
we are or rather,
were her friends.
unlike fake sucker ups like CC and DC,
those of us who were okay with smashing cake into her face and
actually,
some of those who didn't agree to it,
would be the listening ear and the shoulder to cry on if she ever needed it.
i think yes,
even if five years down the road everything's going wrong for her i would still be there if she needed me.
i feel in another way,
we were the victims yet again.
after all,
we were made to believe that she was our friend and confidant.
but her reaction to our actions which would've been to any other friends,
was that of a hurt and rudely shocked teenager who then wanted to claim back the respect she felt she deserved as a teacher.
parting is such sweet sorrowoh yes it is indeed.
but today's goodbye was worse.
because she walked out of our classroom this afternoon as Ms Chong,
our teacher
rather than
Ms Chong,
our friend.
"be good girls," those were her last words to us as a class,
"be good girls"
we still have a good teacher who will be there to help us if we need help,
but we have lost a friend.
moving off this subject,
some very rude teacher was very rude to me today in and unbearably rude way
my goodness!
i was looking desperately for Mrs Sharon Tng's shelf but couldn't find it.
another girl had the same problem but she walked off.
i instead,
knocked on the door and asked if Mrs Tng was around.
the teacher,
i'm quite sure was KMC,
said Mrs Tng wasn't around.
"i'm awfully sorry, i'm having trouble finding her shelf.."
before i could work up the courage to ask if she'd mind placing something on her table for her,
"Her shelf should be out there okay!"
she had replied, her voiced raised a little as she gestured out the door.
well durh miss-know-it-all.
of course i know her shelf is supposed to be out there.
but i wouldn't be bothering you if i could find it now would i?
stupidhead.
and how awfully rude.
it is no excuse for pl lites to be rude,
but is it suprising if this is how we're talked to by a teacher?
hmmm?
GRACE GRACE GRACIOUS
that's what they keep telling us.
WELL TAKE IT AND STUFF IT UP YOUR ASS.
you miss-i'm-higher-than-all-stupid-antsy-students-teacher,
be an example to the innocent pl lites,
please (:
other than that the day was not too bad
well yes,
that took up my whole day actually
and all the time in the supermarket
i had stupidheaded people pushing and shoving me.
dear Singapore,
your small kindness movement and all that crap will not work
if people in your country seem to purposely choose to squeeze through the tiniest, narrowest aisle where there is a lady with a huge basket and a student with a huge schoolbag.
sad to say,
if i was ang moh or had blond hair,
i am quite sure that i would be treated nicely and no one would want to squeeze right by me.
it is extremely sad but yes,
very true.
and i've lived here for what?
nearly 12 years!
Damn.
in about 11 days and forty-five minutes,
i would've lived her for 12 years.
how i have survived so long i do not know.
hey,
if anyone reads this.
i'm extremely not happy with the behaviour of many Singaporeans but i do not mean all singaporeans.
before you start thinking i'm a horrible snobby brit who only critisizes,
i'm not.
this country,
i have to admit,
is almost a second home to me.
actually im living here so yes,
it is home for the moment.
the thing is,
do something and change the attitude of singaporeans.
the i'm-better-than-you attitude everyone here seems to have.
the after-me-you're-first kinda thing.
people here are self centered.
when horrible disasters come around,
Singaporeans are quick to respond but they tell the rest of the world that they're responding and helping in oh-so-many-ways.
"ohh look! i putting 2 dollars into de box! see! i is helping tsunami victims!"
anyway,
moving on,
my sister texted me saying a girl in my level told her she sounded a lot like me who is apparently very popular.
my sister has a raised eyebrow as she says the girl is treating especially nicely and maybe it is because we are related.
strange thing,
i don't personally know the girl who talked to my sister.
and no,
for the record i am not popular.
extremely well known among teachers for never being around,
yes.
well that's a different story.
but oh wells.
it made my day.
did retail shopping with mummy.
it was only about four, five pairs of earrings.
but i was all cheered up for the day(:
chatted with my buu for a wee bit.
poor baby's got a horrible throat and i've got a feeling i'm getting it.
i keep coughing cos my throat's itchy,
i've been sneezing and my throat feels dry and sore):
ANYWAY,
IT'S MY BABAYE SISTER'S BIRTHDAY IN HALF AN HOUR.
HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY DARLING CHEVONNEpretty much it i suppose.
i wanna go shopping at tangs for my birthday outfit(:
wow,i spent a full hour plus blogging!
(:
- xoxo
charis loves you
11:26 PM
peeeeektooores!(: