alone i was
before your love
when i saw you
i knew my life was touched

i saw your smile
and then i knew
that everything i felt
inside was true

i saw your smile
and then i knew
that i was gonna spend
my life with you


View My Stats

 

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

tell me please,
because i don't understand

expliques s'il vous plait?

it happened in slow motion,
i swear i could almost see it
almost
i swear i saw it coming

one minute it was all okay,
and the next

that familiar click,
i held the phone away from my ear before i could hear the line gone dead,
before i could hear it and feel that familiar shiver up my spine,
before i realize and feel the familiar warm tears

i didn't know what to think,
what to feel
i'm frustrated in a way
i don't understand,
i don't understand at all.
and i half wonder if i really want to.

it's like a one way mirror i'm standing at,
and i see you on the other side.
i place my hand on the same place your hand is at,
with only the glass in between us.
i see you on the other side
i know you're there
but you can't be sure i'm on the other side of the glass you're looking at
because all you can see,
is your own reflection
you think i'm on the other side,
and i am
but you don't know if i'll be there long
you don't know that i'm standing there and that i won't walk away,
not now,
not anytime soon,
not ever.
i see you on the other side,
and i see you trying to look through the reflective glass,
i see you trying to see if i'm there
and i am
but you don't know that,
you can't be sure
you keep thinking i'm going to walk away,
walk away and leave you standing
but i won't
i'm there
though you can't see me
though all you see right now is your own reflection.
i'm still there

texted my best friend,
she just told me to chill out,
and i wanted to,
i tried to.
i didn't know what to do

i wanted to scream,
shout
cry
but i couldn't

i thought maybe i could make it disappear,
but my buu was asleep and marisse wasn't picking up her phone
i asked ner if she was free tomorrow night
but she said it wasn't a cure,
the disappearance would only be temporary.
and i knew what she said was true,
so very true.
it didnt change what i wanted to do,
maybe because i felt if maybe for just that little while i could forget,
if i could let loose,
it'd be ok
that's all i needed,
just for a little while.
with less conviction i called my best friend.
she wasn't busy
but it seemed it

and i realized i was alone,
if it had been any other situation i'd be calling him anyway
i didn't want to call my other best friend because,
well just because
i felt i couldn't call him,
i didn't really want to

and i realized i was cold,
and alone
oh, so very alone


let me slip into nothingness now
it was you who'd make me close my eyes,
and make everything around disappear
so tell me how i can do that now
cos when i close my eyes,
all i see is you,
i breathe and smell you
and i realize how alone i am
and i realize that everyone else has their own life,
and they're all living it

i'm not in anyone's life
and everyone in mine is slipping away


Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Un-do this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart, my heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Un-do this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart, my heart

Ohh, oh
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Un-do this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart, my heart

Un-break my
Un-break my heart, oh baby
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on

- xoxo
charis loves you
1:28 AM

credits

layout by chris. (:

my|ife

February 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
December 2007

my world

forgotten secrets
poetic poetry(:
honneh bunneh
mommie
sugarr
buble cuzzie:)
buu
holy guy
moooresykins
hubby private&protected
hubby
pretti zombie
boyfriend
babaye sister
dory
dark Lord
unknown wierdo
dahhlingg hippo
[blogger]
[friendster]

just for laughs
my boyfriend's a twat
overheard in New York

peeeeektooores!(:

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.