alone i was
before your love
when i saw you
i knew my life was touched

i saw your smile
and then i knew
that everything i felt
inside was true

i saw your smile
and then i knew
that i was gonna spend
my life with you


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Sunday, September 11, 2005

had oodles and oodles of fun yesterday:)

the time spent together was great and fun,
the singing was lovely,
most of it anyway.haha
the going back into a big church brought back memories.

while i was there,
i found myself missing cmc.
found myself wishing i was back at the same church i had grown up in as a little girl,
wishing i was there, knowing everyone and being recognized by them too.

i missed knowing where to go,
knowing how to get there.
i missed walking into that familiar smelling cafeteria,
smiling at everyone and them smiling back at me too.

i missed being recognized by old old friends of my mom.
haha.
miss going looking forward to going for breakfast and lunch with everyone.
miss avoiding the quirky, weird people.

but i'm afraid,
that's all i miss really.
as i grew older i guess i did pay attention to sermons and everything,
but the ultimate of church always seemed to be hanging out.
like : this is great but where are we gonna go afterwards?

wrong reason to be in church really.
that's why i'm where i am now.

so anyway,
yesterday was fun:)
took pictures. abigail looked so cute!
quite a few more girls from my school there too.
but i was pretty aware that not only was i not in my church,
but i was on their turf with alastair and his family.

ok,
that just sounds wrong.
sounds like some cat fight thing,
which it isn't, really.

at the end of everything,
there was the usual milling around and i kinda glanced over this young girl who looked rather familiar.
she kinda looked at me like, twice.
haha.
then she asked if i was from PL secondary.
i'm like "yeaa,you look kinda familiar. are you from the primary school?"
she says yes and then upon me asking how she knows me she proceeded to tell me about seeing me in last year's musical, seeing me at the sports meet, noticing that i was in archer (the same house as her, she had added)
and remembering i came back for one of the teacher's day.

i thought she was like primary5 or 6,
thought she might be my sister's classmate or something.
haha.
she was primary 4.
and only after i left,
i realized the reason she looked so familiar was probably because she was in 1 sincerity back when i was in primary 5 and we had this buddy system.

haha.
cute,
and pretty suprising,
being noticed by a girl in primary school.
haha.

so then there was supper,
ironically at the same place where the whole cmc group would go sometimes.
maybe that was another reason why i was missing everything so much.
total dejavu would be a complete understatement.

ohoh.
abigail told me a story which made me wanna cry!
her presentation style, and the way she illustrated everything was,
simply put,
amazing.
kinda like as imaginative as janice way back then when she talked to wet tissues.

ok,
so here it goes.
y'all just gonna have to imagine it yourselves.

there's a guy who's cold and his face is badly injured.
he goes out of hospital and sees the bad guy, so he hides.
but the bad guy knows where he is and goes after him,
confronts him.
but the injured guy runs off to a hotel,
the same hotel where he got hurt.
his wife( whom abigail kept referring to as "the mother" )
doesn't know what's going on so she runs home. the injured guy hides his home key somewhere and runs after her.
all the way home and locking his doors after him.
but the bad guy has found the key to his home so he is able to unlock everything.
he fires a shot at the "injured guy"
(as he seems to have been identified in this story)
and his wife,
referred to as "the mother" because,unbeknown to abigail's audience,
is pregnant,
gives birth and wakes up to have a gun pointed in her face.
she's counting on her husband saving her,
but he doesn't come.
she doesn't know that he's already dead.
the bad guy tells her that and she goes to the hospital and finds to her horror that it is true.
her husband,
the father of her newborn,
is dead.

she faints

but the bad guy is finally defeated because the friend of the injured/ dead guy has powers and comes to the rescue.

the father of the newborn is dead!

:(

- xoxo
charis loves you
11:24 AM

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just for laughs
my boyfriend's a twat
overheard in New York

peeeeektooores!(:

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.