with |ove; me

Friday, August 05, 2005

dear Lord,
i don't do this very often.
but thank You.
i realized how very blessed i am
to have a family,
a mummy and a daddy
a baby sister,
and someone who loves me very much.

Dear Lord,
thank You for being there even when my earthly dad wasn't
thank You for blessing me with so much more than i could ever ask for.
thank You for loving me.
thank You for pulling me through depression,
for being there when i needed someone.

thank You for giving me opportunities to do the few things i love doing so very much.
thank You Father,
for noticing.

i thought today was horrid.
absolutely horrid.
now before you start saying my sarcasm above in prayer was uncalled for,
shut the hell up cos ain't no one listening:)

you know you love me

anyway,
so i'm still sick today,
my temperature bouncing around like words on paper.
on top of that,
mummy's gonna receive shit from the vice principal.
i'm gonna get zero for all the tests i havn't taken if they're not all completed by next week,
and i'll be retained.
quite willingly i might add.

i've got homework,
im not too keen on asking what else i've missed out on yet.
oh yes,
my planned activities for the weekend are more or less suspended especially going for FOP.

sidetrack: can you imagine?
*jump jump jump* "oh hi ms chan" *jumps all the way back*

so not looking forward to that.

been looking forward to seeing you honestly speaking,
there isn't a time when i don't.
but you always make my day
and today definitely needed making.
but unfortunately i couldn't see you.
on top of that there's stuff going on with feeble,
strongly(in my opinion at least) unadvised ressurection of something that's not really working out.
which kinda irks me.
then there's the realization that for once,
small number ain't gonna affect nothing.
which i don't know what to think of really.

so anyway,
the phone conversation's cheered me up considerably.
im online and checking out about euthanasia and stuff.
by the way, euthanasia should not be legalized!

sorry about the sidetrack.

oooh!
mummy's home with a new telephone!

sorry about the second sidetrack.

anyway,
i'm in Odessey of the Mind.
bril bril.
i really really wanted to be in it.
and i am!
me liike.

loving it.
so that's with the prayer of thanks:)

oooh!
it's a cordless phone!
i love i love i love!

ok so,
thank You Daddy above for the new telephone:)

sorry for another sidetrack.
wait,
actually that's pretty much it.

of course,
besides the fact that there's some stuff i'm struggling with.
stuff i'm not sure i understand.
pushing that aside for a moment,
i have work.

don't compare us,
we're different.
don't think what happened before is gonna happen again.
if you're not sure,
what to do or what to say
promise you won't make me choose.

- xoxo
charis loves you
9:07 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.