with |ove; me

Sunday, August 21, 2005

ok,
so i posted the last post.
refreshed the page,
and taa daa.
my blog's its cute self once more.

no comment on that

i didn't go to the subject combination briefing yesterday.
went for rehearsals at acsi.
damn screwed priorities.

no comment on that either.

so anyway,
it turns out the combination i'm looking for doesnt exactly exist.
i wanted pure literature.
i wanted art.
i didn't want A math.
i didn't want physics.
i didn't mind taking biology and chemistry as seperate subjects.

the only art class gives me pure geography,
which everyone knows is suicide.
the pure literature class gives me A math,
which is social suicide for me because i'll be going out a hell lot less due to senseless mugging for A math.
which isn't that bad actually,not like i go out all that much anyways.
but i've learnt that i can take A math then drop it next year(:
goody.
i'd choose literature over art anytime.
is that good though?

but the thing is,
right now i'm talking like i have all the choices in the world.
behaving like my grades are real good and if i want i can even get into a triple science A math class.
which,
sad to say,
is far from reality.

facing facts,
i'm flunking the math im doing now,
so i dont know how the hell i could even dare to bloody think about taking A math.
not to mention the fact that you do have to get 60% for math in order to get into an A math class.
the three subjects i loved the most and thought i was doing average at,
english
literature
chemistry,
they're all going downhill.
i stared at my last english test results.
i go a friggin 32 out of 50.
i screwed it up.
i bloody fucking screwed up my english.
i've never failed english before,
not really failed that is.
a fail for english, to me, is 30 out of 50.
but i havn't actually failed it by like getting 25.
i think i'd just die if that happened.
but my last essay,
an argumentative,
was 16 out of 30.
ignore the fact that it's the first time we've tried writing an argumentative.
i got 16!
six bloody effing teen!

my last literature,
lets just leave that subject out.

chemistry.
chemistry.
chemistry.
no comment.

- xoxo
charis loves you
2:00 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.