with |ove; me

Monday, July 11, 2005

went filming on saturday with the musical girls,
ms loh and mrs tan.

when you left i lost a part of me,
it's still so hard to believe.

it was wonderful,
besides having to stand under the sun for like,
forever.
but it was then that i realized with a start,
how much i had missed out.

all the times we used to spend hanging out backstage,
singing with each other,
hurrying through homework,
yelling out "we are a team"
all those time we headed out for dinner after rehearsals,
all those times,
they seem so very far away.

but even after the musical,
we all promised it wasn't the end.
it wasn't.
there was so much more.
i think there's a fine line between preventing yourself from living in the past and totally forgetting your friends.
i wouldn't say we all forgot each other,
but we definitely didn't keep in touch as much as last time.
definitely didn't send as many crazy,nutty text messages.
remember how we used to mass send to everyone so it was almost like we were in a huuge chatroom conversation?
remember the countless mrs tan messages?
:)

i realized how much i missed everyone.
i realized how well we all clicked together,
which explained our unusual closeness.
in a way,
i almost saw what i've been missing out,
so far away from the rest.
not just me,
everyone else too i suppose,
except i'm the one who stays in a seperate block from eveyone.
pfft.
worse innit?

i remember how, when we're all together,
age doesn't seem to matter at all.

i allowed myself to be taken back to the past for a while.
reminisce.
i drifted back in those rather blurry times where
we'd scream(and get told off for it),
tickle each other,
run off with mrs tan hush puppy shoes.

i miss those times ever so much.
it is true,
that one cannot live in the past.
that we have to move on.
but we move on from those times,
smiling at the happy memory.
but we don't,
and should never,
move on from our friends.

you musical girls rock my world:)

musical anniversary coming up.
we should have a grand celebration:)

- xoxo
charis loves you
5:49 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.