with |ove; me

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

and then i found out again why we're best friends .
or why you're my best friend .

stupidly coincidental really .
for you it's,
it's not your fault .
life is so full of screw ups .

i should know .
i never thought that..
but ohh wells
i can only say i feel extremely stupid .
extremely .
but then,
who could blame me?
i really didn't think .
sometimes,
we really do have to listen to what mummy has to say .

you know how in cartoons,when the person gets rejected,
there's a loud "bleeep"
and a bright red 'reject'
is stamped across that person's forehead .
no i don't feel like that .
but i sure as hell feel like how that person would've felt .

it's weird .
almost like history repeating itself,
except so much clearer .
but i don't want it to,
i don't want history to repeat itself .

once,you told me she said,
"if you see me out with another guy,it's not because i like him.but because you never had the guts to ask me out."

girls should adopt this as some personal motto or something .
it gets so tiring,i don't know how other people cope going in and out of relationships all the time .

no,don't give up .
but don't try to hard either .
tomorrow,
drink and be merry.

this just gets stupid and silly .
isn't life?

i wonder why we all even bother .
and i wonder why there aren't more unstraight people around .
not that it'd be a good thing .
but it don't sound so bad either .
someone slap me please .
im talking nuts here .

i've cried til i can no more .
still no one was there to pick me off the floor .
but in the other corner,you sat curled up .
you didnt see me,
but i saw you cry .
guess we're linked in more ways imaginable .
like stupid screwed up plights .

world of my own-
you broke down my walls,
made me cry .
now i'll watch,
as you walk by

- xoxo
charis loves you
12:55 AM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.