with |ove; me

Saturday, May 21, 2005

i just read this sad sad book .
this fifteen year old black guy was shot by cops .
mistaken identity .
and it told of how his white girlfriend couldnt get over him .
i lay in bed crying for a bit after that .
no,
dont worry,
im not depressed again .

but think about it .
make time and think .

can you imagine losing someone you love?
no,
not your mummy or daddy .
a best friend perhaps,
or a boyfriend, maybe a husband .
picture that someone maybe,
coming towards you ,perhaps crossing the road .
and then gets hit by a car .
hear yourself scream and picture yourself running over to see if he/she is ok .
see and feel yourself cry and imagine his/her's warm hand slipping out of yours and losing that person to the other side .

what if you never told the person how much you loved him/her?
what if .

-world of my own
imagine love
imagine death
imagine livin in a world that he has left .
imagine tears
imagine pain
imagine love that's lasted longer than our years .

imagine life without him by your side
imagine him not there when you cry .
imagine him
imagine you
imagine promising to be forever true .

imagine imagining & dreaming
imagine loving him but not telling
imagine nights
nights all alone
imagine him so far out of your sight .
imagine him not with you
imagine never saying words so few
imagine him
imagine you
& tonight
just tell him
"darling i love you"

- xoxo
charis loves you
4:03 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.