with |ove; me

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Testing

I'm out of middle school and into high
but now it seems I am the only virgin,
the only one who hasn't given it a try.

It seems these years are meant for testing;
but testing can have consequences,
and I don't want to be involved in arresting.

Alcohol floods the school.
"Everyone has tried it,
have a sip, don't be a fool."

If I say, “No. I'm not a fool,”
and decline to try, curiosity fills me;
I want to swim with the current and tide.

A year ago, making out with guys
was kind of weird and gross;
now it's desirable, but where is the cross?

All these thoughts fill my head.
I want to be like Jesus, I think
as I fall asleep on my bed.

High school is filled with testing,
but we don't have to take part
in sex, drugs, and alcohol that pull us apart.

God is with us, protecting us along the way;
so wherever we go, even if we stray,
we just need to look up and pray.

Courtney, 14
Illinois

this is a gorgeous poem .
pretty basic,artistically speaking but the words are absolutely beautiful .
i guess i forgot that all we need to do, is pray .

i've been feeling very alone recently .
in a crowd of about ten of my friends i wonder where i am .
i don't think it'll make sense to anyone reading this but,
-shruggs .

i've never felt so far away before .
and it hurts,
feeling so distant from the Lord .
no,
im not some holy-moley person .
i'm someone who's still looking for something to fill this unexplainable void in me .
i've got all the love i'll ever need and i honestly don't know what's missing .
i've got God,but He seems so very far away right now .

are you there Lord,
do you care?
can you answer my prayer?
Abba Father,
can you hear me?
tell me how to believe?
cos why does it seem,
like it's just an empty dream .
and i need to know if you're still here
for me .

- xoxo
charis loves you
2:36 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

only yours baby

i'm charis vera Ng,
i'm NOT a Singaporean, i was born in UK
but i spent most of my four years in scotland
i love alastair(:
i'm doing my best to live for God though i often fail miserably

ok,try this:
you're this girl who's flown over to this country when you're no more than four years of age
you resent your dad for it,
and it doesn't help when things between your parents don't work out either.

so you miss your home terribly,
you miss going strawberry-picking,
you miss eating boiled eggs out of egg-cups
and you miss warm and cuddly Uncle John and Aunty Esther.

instead,
you find yourself forced to change
and adapt in a horribly hot place
where in primary school,
you meet cold,heartless little kids who ignore you and don't let you play "family"
just cos your accent is different.
early on,
you get weird looks and you find yourself going for recess breaks alone.
your classmates complain to the class teacher when you call them stupid
because they don't understand what to you is simple english.
but they leave you alone when you call them an imbecile
because they don't know what it means.
your primary 1 & 2 class teacher takes joy in complaining to your mummy
because she detests you.
she detests you for constantly correcting her english grammer and pronunciation in front of the class
you soon realize that you can actually gain and keep friends upon them finding out your mother's an actress
but by that time you've more or less forced yourself to lose your accent which makes communication a lot easier anyway.

that was the little girl charis,
now,
on top of that,
i can be a total biotch sometimes, towards people.
and don't tell me you aren't sometimes please.
but i try my very best not to bitch about people.
im a dangerous shopper(=
i never know what i want or need til i see it.

i don't like television.
now that's a first innit?HAH.
bet you never knew someone who didn't like tv
well i don't
and i'm not trying to be different and difficult
it's noisy and boring
i like music:)
i find eating a chore but i love snacking
figure that out
i find certain kinds of pain addictive,
no, i promise i'm still sane.

which is actually pretty remarkable for someone living here,
in this time and place
where you normally get loads of homework,
tests with questions that look like they're in foreign language,
and where everything's a competition to be the best,
the prettiest,
the most popular,
the most hated,
the thinnest,
the fattest, the coolest
the list goes on.
one shouldn't try to be something you're not,
but everyone knows that's easier said than done.
like duurh.